Page 72 of Top Shelf
I come instantly. It’s the fastest orgasm of my life, rocking through in a split second, every fiber of my being quaking with the release. My whole body shakes as Gavin fucks me through it, and he doesn’t stop there. He keeps pounding into me until my legs are jelly and my arms are numb from holding myself up. I don’t care, though. It’s too damn good to ask him to stop.
“Feel so fucking good, Nessa,” he says, his lips at my ear as he folds himself over me. He tugs at my hair roughly, and I quiver from the pain. “Could stay in you all night.”
“Please.”
Though I don’t know what I’m begging for, just that or something else. Either way, it spurs him on, and he slams into me even harder, his grip on my blonde locks so tight it nearly hurts. Just when I think I can’t take any more, Gavin unloads inside me for the second time, and it’s enough to set me off yet again.
What the hell is it about him? How does he do this to me every time? And will it ever be enough? Because right now, it doesn’t feel like it.
My arms finally give way, and I drop to the bed. Gavin follows me down, falling onto the mattress beside me. He scoops me into his arms instantly, dragging me closer like he can’t stop himself from touching me. I smile at that.
I love cuddling, I always have, but it was something my ex never did. Even after I told him how important it was to me—how it made me feel closer to him after baring myself to him—he still refused. He was always “too busy” or wanted to move on to something else. Even then, he had one foot out the door.
I hate that I just had incredible sex and am lying in the arms of someone who would never treat me like that, and yet, I’m thinking about Neal. It’s not fair to Gavin, and it sure as hell isn’t fair to me.
“What are you thinking about over there?” Gavin asks.
“My ex.”
He tenses, and I don’t blame him one bit.
“Sorry,” I say, rolling over to face him. “It’s not because I was comparing you two. I mean, I was, but not for the reasons you’re thinking.”
He relaxes, but only a little. “Then what are the reasons?”
I sigh. “Well, this, for starters. You’re holding me.”
His brows draw together. “Should I not be?”
“No, no. It’s a good thing. Ne—henever did.” I don’t want to say his name out loud. Not right now. Not after everything. “He always wanted to just move on.”
Gavin rolls his eyes. “Next thing you’ll tell me is he never bothered with your pleasure either.”
I say nothing, which says a lot.
“You’re kidding.”
I shrug. “Not never, but not often.”
He shakes his head. “What a piece of shit.”
I laugh. “Yeah, I guess he was.”
I trace my finger gently over the lips that just kissed every inch of me, almost lost in a trance, caught between the present and the past.
“I asked him, you know. About why he cheated. He said it was because I wastoo much, needed too much from him. I wanted to control everything, wanted everything to be picture perfect. And I guess I did, in a way. I wanted the life they promise you when you’re young, the one with the white picket fence, the two A-plus children, and the flawless family photos. I wantedthatlife. And now all I have is…” I swallow down the lump in my throat. “All I have is working at a bar and renting a room. I don’t have a house or an apartment or even a car.”
Gavin’s quiet so long I have to talk myself into looking into his eyes, too scared of what I might see. Does he think I’m too much, too? Hell, the night we met, I cried in his arms on thefreaking sidewalk. Does he think I’m too much because I called him panicking about his fish? I did have a major freak-out. Does he think I’m too much because I wanted to talk to him after he got hit? I’m not his girlfriend. I don’t deserve that. Does he think I’m?—
“Stop,” he says softly. “You’re not too much, Nessa. Stop letting him get into your head and think otherwise. There is nothing wrong with you. What Neal did falls solely on his shoulders. It’s not your burden to carry. It never was, and it never will be.” He leans forward, ghosting his lips over mine. “You’re just enough for me.”
My eyes flutter closed against his soft kiss and his words. Words that mean more to me than he can imagine.I’m not too much. I’m just enough, I repeat to myself.
Gavin kisses me again, and I open for him, letting him sweep his tongue into my mouth. It’s slow, languid, like he’s taking his time with me, and I love every second of it. When he eventually pulls away, he smiles at me.
“Shower, then more cuddles?”
The butterflies—the ones that seem to be permanent where he is concerned—flap their wings again, and I grin right back. “That sounds perfect to me.”
