Page 90 of Top Shelf
Hayes: What the hell are you piping in for, old man? Don’t need Gramps coming to my rescue.
Locke: Hey, watch it!
Hayes: Or what? Going to take me out with your cane next time you see me?
Locke: Dude. Rude.
Hayes: You’re right. I’m sorry.
Hayes: OR WHAT? GOING TO TAKE ME OUT WITH YOUR CANE NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME?
Hayes: It’s in all caps. I was shouting at you. Because you’re old and can’t hear. Get it?
Lawson: BURN!
Lawson: Nice one, Hayesy! Remind me to give you a high five later.
Hayes: No, thank you.
Lawson: Okay, I take it back. Locke was right. You are rude. Been hanging out with Keller too long.
Keller: I’m not rude. I’m just saying what everyone else is thinking. If anything, I’m brave because I’m the only one who will step up.
Hutch: You’re an asshole, Kells. Just admit it.
Keller: I’m okay with that label.
Fox: I don’t think you’re an asshole.
Keller: You’re only saying that because you’re too nice to say anything else.
Fox: Not true. I’d call you an asshole if I really thought you were one. I think you’re just projecting because you’re sad and lonely.
Lawson: HOLY SHIT! That makes so much sense, Foxy!
Hayes: Damn, it really does.
Hutch: Oh, yeah. I can see that.
Hutch: What? Nothing to say now, Keller?
Keller: Just trying to figure out if I’m willing to let that slide because the good boy said it or if I should punch him next time I see him.
Hayes: Look at you, getting all soft on us.
Hutch: Fuck, I can’t wait to watch you fall in love, too, Kells.
Keller: It’s not happening.
Lawson: Yes, it will. It’s inevitable at this point.
Lawson: Just two to go now.
Keller: Hmm.
Hayes: “Hmm” what?
Keller: Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.
