Page 116 of The King's Man
Because I had just remembered: Jann’s eyes were still yellow.
But, I can feel his heart, and he’s good,I reminded myself, gripping his hands.
And I prayed I wasn’t being deceived.
*****
Jann flew through the night, speaking less and less as his weariness grew. As dawn crept across the sky, and the sun threatened to peek over the mountains, we finally landed in woods next to a road a mile outside of Noctharrow.
The moment I was unbuckled from his chest, Jann groaned and leaned backwards, stretching his spine.
“You weren’t supposed to fly the whole way,” I told him, worried because he moved stiffly and seemed genuinely uncomfortable.
He lifted his elbows and stretched first to one side, then the other, turning his waist as far around as he could, then back in the other direction, his wings gone.
“We’ll be here for a day or two, I’m sure,” he said, his voice gruff. “I’ll rest.”
I scoffed and his eyes snapped to mine and that look speared right to my lower belly. He took a sharp breath, but then his eyes shadowed and I felt something dark curl through him.
“What is it?” I asked him, reaching for his hand
He gripped my fingers and looked down at our clasped hands as he cleared his throat. “I have to ask something from you that both of us will hate, but I want you to be certain I wouldn’t ask it except that it will ultimately make this safer.”
“I believe you. What is it?” I was braced, expecting him to have an assassination mission for me—which I would do without question—or perhaps a request for me to leave him if danger descended in the form of the Fallen—which I wouldn’t.
“I have to ask if you’re willing to play… my toy,” he said in a low gravel.
I frowned. “Yourtoy?”
Jann nodded and scratched the back of his neck. “Noctharrow isn’t like other cities, Dee. There’s no… civility. Anyone at all can enter. And women do. But it’s better in a place like this for you to be seen as a chattel of a Neph bull, than a mercenary. Or worse.”
“Worse?”
“A woman incapable of protecting herself.”
I glared, but he met my eyes evenly. “What does playing yourtoyactually mean?”
“It means being seen as my… plaything. There for my pleasure and entertainment. Brainless,” he said with a grimace. “It will allow me to keep you close when men might otherwise be suspicious—because a woman brave enough to walk into Noctharrow without some very serious protection is a woman that should be watched. But a Nephilim’s toy? She’s little more than a horse.”
A shudder of disgust and rage rocked through me. “Men are fuckingpigs,”I hissed.
Jann’s head dropped and he nodded. “I don’t like it. It will be… uncomfortable to have you under their eyes like that. But I would feel much better being able to keep you at my side or on my lap than leaving you in a room or—”
“You arenotleaving me, and I’m not leaving you.”
He nodded again. “I agree. But this is what I’m saying, Dee. You can take care of yourself here. I have no doubt. But you would have to be so watchful, and careful… if you come asmine,it’s me they’ll assess and consider, not you.”
I didn’t know why it bothered me so much. I’d willingly played the dumb trophy more than once during a mission. Men were far more loose with their tongues around women—they didn’t expect us to be capable fightersorstrategists. Butsomehow, doing that for Jann felt… well, it didn’t feel like work. It felt like… like he was making me small.
Jann’s expression sharpened and he leaned in over me. “What is it? What did you just think? What made you feelless?”
I shrugged uncomfortably. “I… I hate that it’s alwaysthis,”I muttered. “Some part of you must see me that way—it’s always the claiming, the roaring, thetoy.When will the day come that I can walk at your side asmyself?”
Jann blew out a breath and cupped my face. “You take every step at my side asyou,my beautiful, strong, capable mate. This is a role to play,notwho you are to me. This is a shield for stupid, single-minded eyes. What they see has nothing to do with what you are in my eyes. I promise.”
The rush of warmth and protective rage that washed through the bond was a reassurance I didn’t realize I’d needed.
With a sigh I fell into his chest for a moment. When we straightened, Jann peering into my eyes, frowning, I nodded.
