Page 107 of The King's Man
Instead of playing, or losing my temper, I made myself take a breath and speak to him, soldier to soldier. “You’ll be the one giving the orders next time,” I said carefully. “Will you order… that?”
His jaw rolled and he straightened. It was gratifying to see him truly consider the question.
“Would you follow me if I did?” he asked quietly.
I blinked. I hadn’t expected that. “You’re the General. As you said, I follow orders I don’t like.”
“I’m also your mate.”
An excellent point. I considered the question.
“I think… I think any order you give me in public I’ll honor, unless it defies our King and Queen,” I said carefully. “But I am unlikely to stay silent in private if I disapprove.”
Jann snorted. “I wouldn’t have dreamed otherwise.”
I gave him a flat look, but before I could speak he carried on.
“I can tell you that I truly believe putting down a rebellion before it begins is the safest and most ethical course in the wake of any battle. But I can also tell you there’s a reason I sought Melek out to lead our people, rather than attempting to take the crown myself.”
“And how is that relevant?”
Jann’s expression was somber. “Because he’s a better man than me, Dee. That’s the truth. Melek can be brutal when it’s required to stand for what is right, or in the protection of others. But he takes no joy in causing pain.”
I swallowed. “Do you?”
“Sometimes. When I feel it’s deserved.” Then he held my eyes intently. “Or when someone has threatened what is precious to me,” he ended quietly. Then he tipped up my chin. “For example, I would happily castrate any man who attempted to touch you without permission, let him bleed to death clutching his own testicles.”
My breath rushed out of me. “I suppose… I suppose when you put it like that…”
Jann smiled and kissed me quickly, then reached down to gather his things. A moment later, we began working together to set a fire and bring out the rations. Since we’d be in the city tonight and our rations would be replenished, we could eat more.
But as we shared the meal and fell into the furs together, I was still rattled by the idea that this destruction was what I could expect to find in every Capitol. His point about the fact that we took orders whether we liked them or not was made. And all ofus—Melek, Yilan, Jann and I—now fought together for a better future.
Would I take joy in the pain of an enemy? Yes—if they’d killed Gall or Istral. Or if they tried to hurt Jann. Or Yilan. Even Melek.
I would have killed Nephilimhappilyif they’d attempted to conquer Theynor. I’d assassinated enemies more than once, and proudly taken part in demoralizing troops.
At first, I wasn’t sure why the destruction of that beautiful city hit me so hard. But as I watched Jann eat, smile, joke, and give pleasure in the shadow of that destruction without any apparent conscience, I figured it out.
I was afraid he was capable of leveling me in the same way.
And that was a terrifying thought.
*****
Jann woke me when the sun was high and dappling the ground through the leaves above.
I blinked.
He lay on his side under the furs, our bound hands raised to the jackets we’d rolled under our heads for pillows.
He looked pensive. I frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing really, just… I was thinking about what tonight would require.”
“Entering the city?”
He nodded, his free hand rested on my hip and he squeezed it.
