Page 136 of The King's Man
And probably most important of all, he had had ample opportunity—before and after the bond completed—to take advantage of me. And he hadn’t.
His pupils dilated and his hand slid into my hair, fingers tightening to a fist and pulling against my scalp so that goosebumps washed down my spine. I gasped and he froze again. A trembling wave rippled through him as if he fought himself, deep within.
“Touch me,” he growled. “Put your hands on me. Show me, Diadre. Show me what you want.”
My breath caught as I pulled out of the memory and tried to focus, but those questions only reminded me of the other women in Theynor and how they’d responded to him once they got past their initial fear of his size… and it wasn’t the reactions of women who were afraid.
So why had I beensoconvinced that he had deep darkness to reveal?
Because every other man who’s ever wanted me always turned out to have a nasty secret.
I stopped pacing, hand on my heart where the bond throbbed as my pride crumbled.
Oh, God.I’d been punishing Jann for all the ways the men before him had hurt me.
It was the flipside of the coin from the men in my life who’d punished me for not fulfillingtheirexpectations.
Oh no.
Oh no no no no….
“Jann,” I gasped, turning straight for the spot where he’d pushed through the brush, but I’d barely taken a step when he appeared, his face scratched from the bushes and lined with tension, but his eyes searching the space—and me—for danger.
But the only danger here right now wasme.
We both froze, staring at each other and the wariness I saw in his face broke my heart.
“I hate that you have a slave,” I whispered. “That’s going to take some processing. But you… You’re a good man.”
He blinked. I swallowed hard.
“No… I need to say that better… Jann, you’re better than good. And I’ve been refusing to accept it. Refusing to trust. I’m so sorry!” Suddenly unable to be apart from him, I threw myself into his arms, into that massive chest, and he caught me with a shocked grunt. “You were right—you were right! You’re good. You’remine.I can feel you and I’ve been… I’ve been waiting for you to prove that you’re like every other man, and you aren’t! I’m so sorry!”
Still clinging to his neck, I pulled back to meet his eyes—mine blurry and full of tears—to find him staring at me, a little shocked, and still hesitant. But there was hope there in his beautiful eyes. And that made my tears overflow. I wiped them quickly away, but knew, I had to let him see. Had to show him.
“Please, be patient with me,” I whispered, then put my hands to his face and sighed… and showed him.
I felt him tense the moment I let him see my memories of being in the arms of other men—and I hated the way the bond flinched at that—but he didn’t push me away, and didn’t push me out of his mind. He held on, growling as one by one, he saw the ways each of those men doubted me, belittled me, held me down… made meless.
I sucked in a breath when his growl became a grunt and he breathed. “Oh, my beautiful girl… I can do so much better than that.” Then he stumbled to that rock and settled down, pulling me into his lap and holding my face, tipping his head against mine, and showing me whathesaw…
I sobbed when my mind filled with the flickering images ofmethrough his eyes. And in his mind I was so much more beautiful, my skin flushed and eyes bright, body lush and smile sparkling.
I felt his heart swell when he watched me enter a room—and felt his eagerness to ask me a question and hear my answer. Felt the drive to keep me close, and how his body drove him to touch, frustrated when I wasn’t near.
I felt the hollow ache in his chest when I was out of his sight, and his delight when my casual comment approved him.
I felt his respect for my strength, his belief in my trustworthiness, his observation of my loyalty, his appreciation of my humor, and his respect for the ways I thought, and the questions I asked.
Then I felt his gratitude for the issues I raised that honed his thoughts when he was planning, and I wanted to weep. I had only ever wanted respect from a man. To be seen as equally valuable, even if differently skilled.
Jann cleared his throat. “I know I’ve fucked up, Dee. I know I should have told you about the bond, and Caelan and…” He swallowed hard. “But those are mistakes, not malicious intent. I want you strong. I want to be your strength, not strip you of it. Idosee you, and… I’ll prove it to you,” he breathed, his chest moving quickly, short gasps, because his breath was shallow and his heart pounding. “I’ll show you that I respect you and—”
“You already have,” I whispered back.
Then I showed him what was suddenly and abundantly clear to me.
That warm pulse in the bond. That shining cord that attached his heart to mine. The cocky smile and delighted laugh that made my chest tight when I said something to invite it. The towering strength at my back when I was afraid. The smile of sly delight when I put another man in his place or made an unexpectedly saucy joke. The confidence in my skills and intelligence—and the growled warning for my brother or any other man who dared question whether I was themanfor the job.
