Page 70 of The King's Man
Why did my heart shriek?
Because I thought we were connecting. I thought he cared. He said hesawme. And I was stupid enough to believe him.
Wrong again.
I sucked in a breath, bracing against the rush of pain and despair. But I caught it. I caught myself in it. I wouldn’t let him do that to me. Ineededhim. He’d made certain that I did. I couldn’t let him abandon me—but I had been here before. I refused to beg for the crumbs he would still be willing to offer.
Panicking, I shut my body down so he wouldn’t see it. Like a compass shifting to north, I made myself refocus.
I made myself smile.
I resisted the urge to cover my nakedness and let him think I was as shameless to nudity as he was.
“No need to look like that, Jann. It wasn’tthatgood,” I said as coyly as I could manage. “But don’t worry, your reputation won’t be ruined. I’ll make sure they all hear how amazing you were—you got your roar out, right?”
He frowned, blinking at the ceiling of the tent, but I didn’t need him to answer.
Yes, he’d fucking gotten it out—thrown his head back and roared to the world that my body washis,and he was taking it as he pleased.
And god, did he please…
Shaking off the pathetic thought, I crawled off the bed, ignoring the heat of his eyes on my bare backside.
“Speechless, Jann?” I said as I walked as steadily as I could manage over to the washbasin in the corner and pretended for the second time today that I was as immune to the shame of bodily fluids as any man. “It can’t have beenthatbad, ha ha…”
“Of course it wasn’t bad,” he muttered, his voice tight and hoarse. “Not at all. Far from it.”
And those were the patronizing words of man who’d had women fall at his feet for his entire adult life. God. I’d had my experience as well, but there was no doubt which of the two of us had stories to tell and… well.
He was right, I reminded myself. It hadn’t been bad. At all.
A tiny voice in the back of my mind screamed that it was far, far more thannot bad.That something had happened—something that, at least briefly, had threatened to strip him of his sanity. But I pushed it away. My throat was growing tight. I needed a distraction.
When I’d cleaned up, I gathered my clothes—the jacket and shirt where I’d dropped them, my leathers where he’d flung them aside. I dressed as nonchalantly as I could, but something at the center of my chest ached. I wasn’t sure if it was unspent tears, or pure shame at his rejection. But either way… “I need to talk to Yilan.”
Jann remained sprawled on the bed, thick limbs andother thingslaying where they fell. “You can’t leave. They heard the roar. They know what it means—ultimately it will make you safer, but none of them have seen a woman for weeks. Any who might want to challenge me will try to take you if they see you in any way… unattended. It’s strategy. A dominance move. I can’t let them eventhinkthey have a chance—”
I turned on him still buttoning my shirt. “Is that all you care about? Being on top?”
He hesitated, jaw rolling, then sat up rolling his head on his shoulders. “It’s best forbothof us if I’m viewed as… unassailable.” But he wouldn’t meet my eyes.
Something deep inside me cracked.
“Is this about that stupid fucking life debt?” I snapped through my teeth. “Are youdominatingme?! Jann, I told you—”
He grunted and shook his head, but I wasn’t going to listen to him further.
I turned my back and finished dressing with my teeth clenched and short, sharp tugs at my clothing. I should have known a stupid Neph would have no thought for anything beyond their own preeminence.
I should have fucking known.
I found reasons to move around the tent while Jann cleaned himself, but I watched him every moment he wasn’t facing me, and it was with very real horror that I realized he still had a grip on me. That I instinctively swayed nearer,wantedto draw close to him. Wanted to throw myself back into his arms andbeghim to take me again.
I wanted to submit to his dominance.
What the fuck was wrong with me? Why did I always fall for the arrogant pricks, then let them dangle me by a string?
Why?
