Page 81 of The King's Man
She had called me her mate.
30.Reach Out
~ JANN ~
Diadre blinked and her shoulders slumped. But she didn’t take it back.
Gingerly, slowly, I edged forward, closing the gap between us, letting her see me draw near so she could stop me if she wanted to. But while her eyes went round, she didn’t shake her head or shrink back further. She watched me inch in closer.
I raised my trembling hand to that precious place on her chest, sliding my palm between her breasts to press at her sternum and my entire body relaxed as the bond between us thrummed under my palm.
“You called me your mate,” I said hoarsely.
“It was a slip of the tongue,” she whispered, but her heart wasn’t in it.
I swallowed hard—to press her, or to soothe her? Looking up from where I touched her, I met her eyes and saw the doubt inthem. Not for the bond. But for thefuture.
I did battle with my own fear, but my instincts screamed that she wanted to be seen as an equal. So I leaned in, leaving my palm on her chest. “Don’t push me away, Dee.”
She bristled, but didn’t move away. “Why does it matter? You’re only driven by this bond. You don’t truly wantme.”
I was stunned. “Where the fuck did you get that idea?”
She tipped her head, her lips tight. “Ahate-bonerring any bells? God, the moment we were done and you’d regathered your wits, you rejected me. I know men, Jann, especially men like you. Youallregret in the light of day. This draw you’re feeling, it has nothing do with me. It’s the bond, tugging—”
“I didn’t reject you,” I growled. “I was stunned by the incomplete bond, and then when I could think,youwere pulling away from me.”
“You’ve resisted any kind of—”
“I only resisted the bond at the beginning for your sake… foroursakes. I’m afraid ofkilling you.Or me.”
Her brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?”
The tingle of fear made my breath come harder. “I told you about the curse, Dee, and I wasn’t being dramatic. I amterrifiedof impregnating you because I will die if I do—and if I die, your life is at risk. Even if the lost bond doesn’t steal your life, the Nephilim will.
“I’ve spent my entire life avoiding getting anyone pregnant because it will mean the end of me. I’ve already outlived my father. And my Grandfather. Both generations preceding me died before their sons were four years old.”
She tensed under my hand. With a cold jolt, I wondered where she was in her cycle. How likely it might be that she was already pregnant, already growing my babe. If she was, it was a death sentence for me—and that would mean hers as well—”
Diadre searched my eyes, her expression stern. “Isthiswhy you were so hard towards me at the beginning? Because you’re afraid of dying?”
“Dying andleaving an unprotected mate and babe,”I growled. “That is the story of my life, Dee. I know the consequences of it—my father died when I was still a toddler. With him gone, my mother was vulnerable. She was raped in front of me more than once, before finally succumbing during the birth of what would have been my half-brother when I was twelve. Neither of them survived. I was schooled by the crown until I could become a soldier at sixteen. That’s not a life for a woman,orher child. I won’t sentence you to that.”
Diadre cleared her throat, her cheeks pinking. “You don’t… need to worry about that.”
I went still. Was she barren? Had I inadvertently touched a sore spot? Was this partly why she lived like a man? “Dee—”
“No, Jann, don’t look at me like that,” she growled. “Do you really think I’ve been out there throwing caution to the wind every time I meet a man I want?”
I frowned. “Yes?” Wasn’t that the only choice?
But Diadre sighed. “I’m saying,you don’t have to worry.I’m a soldier. I can’t risk a pregnancy, or the physical weakness that comes with it. I take herbs every day that… stop that from happening.”
I stared at her, half-elated, and oddly, half-disappointed.
Even more oddly, my desire for her surged, and the bond swelled under my palm, warming her skin and making both of us suck in.
“You can do that?” I breathed.
