Page 77 of A Not So Quiet Christmas
Chapter 47
As we all sat there in our Christmas cracker crowns, it didn’t seem to matter that a traditional lunch hadn’t been served. To say I’d been worried about how the day would go, everyone present seemed happy and content.
“This is the best Christmas dinner ever,” Seb said. Holding yet another piece of fried turkey in one hand, he stuffed a ketchup-soaked chip into his mouth with the other.
Lizzie laughed. “Well that’s me let off basting duties next year.” She looked my way. “This really is lovely, Antonia,” she said of our meal. “If we were round at mine, we’d be on jam sandwiches.”
I laughed. “Don’t think that didn’t cross my mind. Although I can’t take all the credit.” I felt Oliver place a hand on my knee. “I had plenty of assistance.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think we were in Japan,” Jason said.
While everyone fell silent, as if wondering what the man was talking about, Barrowboy shook his head and rolled his eyes.
Jason was obviously about to treat us to another random Christmas fact and smiling at his brother’s response, I had to wonder how many times he had, in fact, been forced to listen to Jason’s Yuletide ramblings. I, on the other hand, grinned, more than happy to hear his latest offering. For me, the day wouldn’t have been the same had Jason not mentioned at least one far off Christmas tradition.
“What are you talking about?” Ted asked. “This village is nothing like Japan.”
“No, but this is,” Jason replied. He pointed to his dinner. “Did you know that Christmas lunch in Japan is actually KFC?”
While Seb and I accepted his every word, I could see the others were sceptical.
“Honestly,” Jason carried on. “In 1974, KFC Japan came up with the advertising slogankurisumasu ni wa kentakkii,which meansKentucky for Christmas.And Takeshi Okawara, the manager of the only KFC store in the country at that time, began selling party barrels, claiming they were a proper Christmas tradition. Which is funny because they don’t officially celebrate Christmas over there. Anyway, it took off and even now 3.6million people sit down to eat KFC on Christmas Day.”
“Really?” Ted asked, amazed.
Jason nodded.
“Well I didn’t know that.”
“Jason knows lots about Christmas,” Seb said to Ted. “Don’t you, Jason?”
“Well, tradition or not, I can’t eat another thing,” Ted said. He patted his belly. “I’m stuffed.”
“You can’t say that,” Seb said. “You haven’t had any Christmas pudding yet.”
As everyone laughed and began talking about their own special festive traditions, I was happy to sit and listen. Having spent year after year locking myself away, it wasn’t as if I had anything interesting to contribute.
The wine flowed as Ted and Oliver regaled everyone with stories about Mrs Sharples. Jason and Barrowboy had everyone roaring with laughter when it came to their parents. And to ensure her son wasn’t reminded of his father’s absence, Lizzie dropped the previous night’s Santa visit into the conversation which sent Seb’s excited chatter into overdrive.
I hoped I wasn’t tempting fate, but watching the four of them, Lizzie, Seb, Jason and Barrowboy already looked like a little family and turning my attention to Oliver and Ted, I wondered if, deep down, we had what it took to make a family of our own too.
While my head said no and my heart said yes, I knew even if I went back to London, there were changes afoot. Jules and Harry were expecting their first child, so didn’t need me in the way. And while I had the excitement of setting up my new business to keep me busy, all work and no play may have been good enough prior to me landing in Little Leatherington, but I couldn’t say that still stood. I looked round at my guests once more, aware that if I did go back to the city, I’d miss each and every one of them. I smiled. Including Barrowboy.
But it wasn’t about them. Or about Oliver. Or about Jules. Whether I stayed in Little Leatherington or not was about me. I recalled my morning’s musings about the wasted opportunity Mum had given me. I thought about the little girl who imagined her horse on the merry-go-round breaking free. I pictured myself stuck up Fotherghyll Fell, working out my funeral numbers and realising I hadn’t left a single mark on the world around me.
I suddenly felt overwhelmed and seeing everyone had stopped eating, seized the chance to grab a moment to myself. I rose to my feet and not wanting to interrupt everyone’s gaiety, I discretely gathered a few plates and carried them out to the kitchen. Placing them in the sink, I struggled to get my head around the predicament I found myself in. I was way out of my comfort zone yet at the same time I’d never felt so comfortable. Talk about weird.
And scary, I acknowledged.
It was as if I didn’t know myself anymore. As if Little Leatherington had waved a magic festive wand and turned me into someone else. The real Antonia Styles wasn’t a people person. No way would she host Christmas lunch. Let alone have the confidence to look after someone else’s child. She certainly wouldn’t play matchmaker for Lewis and Marianne, or, fingers crossed, give Barrowboy and Lizzie a little nudge in the right direction. As for making the grumpiest old man in the village smile and helping the biggest Christmas fan on the planet celebrate again, there was no chance. Most important of all, the real Antonia wouldn’t fall in love.
There. I’d admitted it.
Oliver suddenly appeared in the doorway. “Everything all right?” he asked.
Pulling myself together, I turned on the hot tap and began filling the sink with water. “Fine,” I replied, as I added a big squirt of washing-up liquid. From the corner of my eye, I saw Oliver step forward. I sensed he was about to say something. “Yes!” I said, before he got the chance.
“Sorry?”
