Page 49 of Tis the Season
I’d done a lot of thinking since then; questioning recent events until my brain hurt. But with no proof to say Gideon was up to no good, or, indeed, that he wasn’t, I’d taken Erin’s advice about not making any decisions until I knew which course of action was right. Much to my surprise, Gideon had clearly been reflecting too, and I was relieved when he phoned to say we needed to talk, and that he was coming round.
I recalled his tone. Serious and to the point, I wondered if he was about to call off our relationship. Thanks to the way things were between us, I wouldn’t have blamed him. I’d thought about doing the same thing. ‘Unless…’ Suddenly panicked, I remembered his last attempt at a heart-to-heart. Dismissing my fears, I told myself I was being daft.No way is Gideon about to get down on one knee.I chewed on my lip.Is he?
As I tried to picture what married life with Gideon might look like, an image of Alex appeared my head. A man who made my heart race and mouth spout drivel every time I was near him. Who smelled delicious and made my body tingle from the most innocent of touches. A guy who saw me in a way no other man had before. Being around Alex was thrilling. He tempted me to cross boundaries I’d never dreamed of crossing. He wasn’t safe or staid like Gideon.
To hell with safe and staid,Gran said.
I looked up to the heavens. ‘Easy for you to say.’ I frowned, as I pictured Alex the night of that office Christmas party. Throwing his cocktail shaker in the air, he appeared to revel in the female attention he received. I sighed. ‘Men like him don’t just turn women’s heads, Gran, they break hearts.’
Alex isn’t like that. He’s different.
I rolled my eyes, aware that she couldn’t know that. ‘Gideon helped me through my grief.’
If he’s such a support, where was he the other night after the hospital?Gran asked.And what about Julia? Is he helping her too?
Done talking about it, I turned off the hob.
Hearing footsteps on the stairs, I checked the time again. I’d left the back door open for him, so it had to be Gideon on his way up. I steeled myself in readiness of our much-needed conversation.
‘Something smells good,’ he said, as he entered.
I considered the empty soup tin in the bin, knowing Gideon wouldn’t be quite so complimentary if he saw it. ‘Just in time,’ I said, indicating the pan.
Gideon took off his jacket and hung it on the back of a dining chair. He loosened his tie and while I grabbed a serving ladle, he reached into the cupboard for a couple of bowls.
‘Nice to know your tummy’s almost better,’ I said.
Gideon tapped a box that protruded from his shirt chest pocket. ‘Imodium. My new best friend.’
I spooned our dinner into the bowls, and while he carried them over to the table, I got the butter from the fridge and bread from the bread bin.
‘Busy day?’ Gideon asked as we took our seats.
‘Very,’ I replied. ‘You?’
‘The same.’
Our continued politeness was both understandable and uncomfortable.
My hand tightened around my spoon. I wanted Gideon to tell me about some exchange he’d had with a client or some difficult accounting arithmetic he’d had to tackle. I wanted to tell him about the customers who’d visited the shop and talk about my latest wool craft project. Instead, we both ate in silence. As the air grew thick with tension, I struggled to swallow, and my appetite waned, so I put my spoon down altogether. It was a quiet I didn’t know how to break.
Finally, Gideon finished eating and pushed his empty bowl to one side. Resting his arms on the table, he regarded me. ‘I’ve been thinking.’
My pulse quickened. The last time Gideon had spoken like that he’d been about to propose. Hoping he wasn’t about to try again, I rose and gathering items off the table, carried them over to the sink. ‘What about?’ I closed my eyes, dreading his next words. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Gideon, but our relationship wasn’t stable enough for marriage, something that deep down he had to know too.
‘Christmas.’
My brain hit pause, and I spun round. I’d been so busy flitting from one extreme to the other, in a case of break-up versus marriage, I hadn’t thought to consider anything in between. ‘Oh.’ Relief swept over me. ‘Okay.’
Gideon clasped his hands. ‘Well, we haven’t really talked about it. Nothing’s been planned.’
I took in his earnestness. Spending time together over the holidays would certainly give us the chance to work through our issues and if all went well, maybe we’d have some fun for a change. The fact that Gideon had thought along those lines made me almost giddy.
Glad to be focusing on something positive, I scrambled in a drawer for a pen and grabbing a notepad, retook my seat at the table. It felt good to know the Christmas I’d been hoping for might come to fruition and taking a deep breath, I let out a satisfied sigh. ‘I suppose we should start with deciding what we want for dinner.’
Gideon wrinkled his nose and pulled on his ear.
‘Don’t worry. I’m not a complete idiot in the kitchen. I just need to be methodical when it comes to the prep work.’ Flipping open the notepad, I wrote the word ‘dinner’ and underscored it. ‘Plus, I’ve helped Gran enough times over the years to know what’s involved and I’m sure you did the same with Serena.’ I smiled. ‘Between us we’ll do a great job.’
