Page 63 of Family Forever
Chapter Fifteen
Dylan could hear his brothers messing around in the kitchen, and he could smell sausage frying, but he couldn’t seem to drag his butt out of bed. After the sight of Terry and his man friend, and the realization that came along with it, Dylan was unable to clear his head enough to get even one wink of sleep.
A knock sounded on his bedroom door. He ignored it but it sounded again.
“Yeah.”
“You all right in there? It’s nine o’clock,” Cole’s voice resonated from the other side of the door.
“So?”
“You don’t normally sleep this late for one thing.” His brother stepped through the doorway and took a seat at the edge of the bed. A sober look filled his gaze. “I heard you had a tough night.”
How did he know? He must have talked to Marissa already. Those two were always talking. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Sometimes he wished he was more like Cole, and able to talk about such things, but he wasn’t.
“Yeah, I figured as much.” Cole hesitated before continuing on, “So, do you want to tell me why you’re ignoring Marissa’s calls?”
“What part of me not wanting to talk about it don’t you understand?” Dylan snapped. He wasn’t in the mood for this.
“None of it. But I thought you should know that she’s pretty upset.”
Dylan sprang out of bed and slid into a pair of jeans. “Well, I’m a little upset myself and you and she are the last people I want to talk to right now.”
Cole nodded. “I know, but we meant well.”
“So you were part of it? Part of the whole charade?”
Cole swung his gaze to the floor. “It was my idea. Marissa didn’t want to go along with it, but I talked her into it.”
“You know what? I really don’t care whose idea it was. You both did it. You both lied to me.”
“Fine, I lied. I’m sorry now that I did it and talked her into it. But if I hadn’t, you’d still be pussyfooting around when we all know darn well you two are meant for each other. You were moping around here like some sad puppy watching her from afar, even before you thought she and Terry were dating. All I really did was open the gate for you. How did you feel last night when you were with her? How did you feel this entire past week?”
His brother’s curious gaze stayed on him. “What’s the real problem here, Dylan?”
Dylan just stared at his brother. He was sick of being alone, having nobody to share his life with who was willing to take on his whole family, not just him. Therein, the problem. “I’m not afforded the same luxury you are when it comes to this, women, anything. With every move I make right now I have to consider how it will affect Aric, Braden, Nate, and Luke. What happens when she realizes that everything we do has to revolve around them, they come first? And then she decides the whole package is too much for her? I can’t bear the thought of what her leaving will do to their hearts, especially the younger boys. I just can’t let someone in that easily until I know for sure.”
Cole blew out a long, slow breath. His eyes softened, any anger from their exchange disappeared. “I just have two things to say to that, number one, not every woman is Tracy, and number two, it’s too late anyhow. I shouldn’t have to tell you this because deep down I know you know, but it’s too late: Marissa is already part of the family. We couldn’t love her more, and I sure as hell know you couldn’t. So, you may as well just stop using the boys as an excuse, stop hiding behind them, and get on with it.”
Cole’s words repeated in Dylan’s head.Stop using the boys as an excuse, stop hiding behind them.That stung. But his brother was partially right. A part of him was hiding behind the boys, and he was afraid to love and lose. The death of his parents nearly sucked the life out of him, and if it hadn’t been for his younger brothers, and having to look after them, he wasn’t sure he could have made it through another day, especially during the first few months that followed.
Though next week marked the third anniversary of his parent’s accident and ascension to heaven, he remembered it as clearly as if it had happened yesterday. The hollowness in his heart reminded him on a daily basis. Honestly, he feared loving another person, letting another person into his heart. That would mean just one more opportunity for loss, to have his heart ripped out and torn to shreds.
“Breakfast is ready,” Nate yelled through the door.
“We’ll be out in a minute,” Dylan replied as he pulled a shirt over his head.
Cole stood and stepped toward the door before looking back over his shoulder. “I really am sorry, but I hated to see you throw away what may be something very special, and that you may never find again.”
By the sober look in his brother’s eyes, Dylan knew Cole meant his apology and sincerely wished him well. “I know. I’ll be out in a minute.”
Dylan slipped into the bathroom, splashed some water on his face and patted it dry with the towel hanging on the rack. Marissa’s fresh spring scent invaded his nostrils. He inhaled deeper. How was it the towel smelled of her? Yes, she probably used this very towel at some point but it had also likely been washed numerous times and been used by him or his brothers countless times since she’d last used it.
He closed his eyes and buried his face in the fabric. Visions of Marissa’s lovely face played through his mind. Her bright ocean-blue gaze had been known to swallow him whole on more than one occasion, but last night, during their lovemaking, that gaze pulled him to a depth he hadn’t known possible. Memories of her gentle touch warmed him to the core. His lips tingled at the recollection of her soft lips brushing against his. The sense of fulfillment when their bodies joined as one was incalculable. His mind and body were no longer his own. Nerves rattled his body.
He pulled his face from the towel and looked at the idiot staring back at him. He needed to find a way to fix this, to get over his fears before he lost Marissa for good. For his being such a jackass to her, ignoring her calls, not giving her a chance to explain.
Someone knocked lightly on the bathroom door.
