Page 53 of Puppy Love & Snowflake Kisses
But since the debacle with the Christmas tree, there weren’t many ornaments left, so there were none in the vicinity of the puppy. He continued to walk around the tree.
She walked over and plugged in the lights. She knelt down and pet Odie. “I’m so glad you’re home. I missed you.”
He placed his paws on her legs, lifted himself up, and then licked her face. Was that his way of telling her that he missed her too?
Odie moved away, and Belle straightened. She stepped back and watched as the puppy walked around and then found the perfect spot to lie down under the tree. It was like he was her Christmas present. He was the most perfect gift.
Parker stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. In that moment, everything felt right in this world. She leaned her head back against Parker’s chest. She closed her eyes and just let herself be present in this moment. This perfect, wonderful moment.
When Parker moved his arms, a great disappointment came over her. She didn’t want this precious moment to end. She had everything she wanted right here—right now. Her heart was full.
His hands gently gripped her shoulders. He prodded her to turn around. She wondered what he wanted. When she turned, he wrapped his arms around her waist and stared into her eyes.
He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. Belle didn’t move. He had caught her off-guard. Her heart leaped into her throat. But as his lips moved over hers, she lost her train of thought. The only thing she could think about was that she’d never been kissed like this before.
She kissed him back. As the kiss intensified, she felt as though her feet had left the floor. It was as if they were floating on cloud nine.
Her hands slid from his chest up over his broad shoulders and then snaked around the back of his neck. Her heart pounded in her chest. He was a really good guy—the best.
If something happened to him—if he left her—she wouldn’t make it through it. The scars on her heart ached. Because she never got over the premature loss of her parents. She learned to live with the pain—the gaping hole in her heart. But she didn’t ever get over having her life torn apart at eighteen.
But with Parker—she didn’t think his loss would be something she could learn to live with. It would kill her. Maybe not literally, but it would kill a part of her, and she would never be the same again.
Therefore, she couldn’t fall for him. But she couldn’t hide from the truth. It was right there in his kiss. It was in the beating of her heart.
I love Parker.
Fear caused her heart to still.No. This isn’t happening.
She pulled out of his embrace. She couldn’t think clearly when he was touching her. She took a step back. She expelled a pent-up breath as her heart resumed beating.
The cold fingers of fear wrapped around her chest, making it hard to breathe. It froze the joyous feelings ricocheting around in her chest.
This thing—this very special thing she had with Parker—it couldn’t happen. She couldn’t give him her heart, because the risk was too great. Because she couldn’t go through the dark days of agony—the long days of piecing herself back together and trying to compensate for the cracks in her heart that would never go away.
Parker sent her a confused look. “What’s wrong?”
“This. You and me. I…” Her breathing was quick, and her hands felt jittery. “I can’t do this.”
“Can’t do what?” His gaze penetrated her, as though he were searching for the answer.
“I told you…you and me.” Her voice cracked with emotion. She swallowed hard, trying to tuck away her internal turmoil. “You can’t care for me.”Wait. That didn’t come out right.“I mean, I can’t care about you.”
His brows drew together. “Why not?”
This was not how she anticipated this conversation going. She thought he’d get angry and storm out the door. But he wasn’t making any motion to leave. And now he expected an explanation.
She shook her head. “Parker, just go.”
“I don’t want to go. I want to figure out why you’re pushing me away. Talk to me. Because I know you have feelings for me.” There was a certainty to his voice.
She inwardly groaned as her gaze moved to the floor. Either she was doing this all wrong, or he was unlike any of the guys she’d broken up with in the past.
She drew in a deep breath, trying to calm herself, but it wasn’t working. This was the hardest thing she’d done. “Parker, thank you for bringing Odie back to me, but whatever we had, it…it’s over. I want you to leave. Now.”
She hated how she’d sounded so harsh. It was the last thing she wanted to do, but it was better now than later. She didn’t do long-term relationships. And she wasn’t going to change that for Parker. She refused to treat him differently. Nothing good would come of it.
When she raised her gaze to meet his, she knew she’d made a mistake by looking at him. She saw the pain in his eyes. The hurt that she’d inflicted upon him. It added to the guilt that was threatening to smother her.
