Page 264 of Her Reluctant Hero
“How accurate are you, usually, with these analyses?” he asked, amused.
“Pretty damn.”
He grinned at the confidence in her voice.
“Who was the boy?” she asked.
“Kim’s brother Kevin. According to him, Doug could have done it.”
She sobered. “Did he change your mind?”
“Not—I don’t know.” He swiped his hand over his mouth, leaned his elbow on the window. “I don’t want to think he did, and Kevin knows about our history, so he may have been telling me what he thought I wanted to hear.”
“But he put doubts there.”
“Yeah.”
She settled back in the seat. “You’re one to trust your instincts, Gabe. And since you do, so do I.”
They rode in silence a bit before she asked the question he’d waited to hear. “So, why did you leave smokejumping?”
“No romantic reason. I had an inner ear problem that upset my balance, screwed up my jumps. I had to quit.”
“Did that bother you?”
“Not really. I mean, Hot Shots do the same job, they just get there in a less insane manner. At that point, flying was making me so sick, I didn’t do it anymore.”
“And when you made your last jump?”
Okay, he didn’t mind talking about the dizziness thing, or even the puking the imbalance caused. The stupidness thing was another matter. He didn’t answer. But he should have known by now she wouldn’t let it go.
“How did you jump if you weren’t on a smokejumping crew?”
“A buddy helped me out. I wanted to prove that I was as good as Doug, see. All I did was seriously screw up my leg when I smashed into a tree, then got caught in it. At least it wasn’t Doug who had to get me down.”
“So you really don’t like to fly.”
That wasn’t the point he thought she’d latch on to. Fine with him. “Nope.”
“I don’t blame you.” She tucked her pack between her body and the door.
She must really love him, if she could believe him to be a good man. He had to make her see he wasn’t all she made him out to be. He wanted her to see the man he was before this went any further.
“I talked to Jen yesterday,” he said, and while Peyton didn’t stiffen, he sensed her wariness. “She’s leaving the Forest Service.”
“What?” The wariness became outrage. “They aren’t firing her because of Doug, are they?”
“Hell no. If they were, I’d sic you on that story instead of giving you an interview.” He flashed her a smile to take the sting out. “No, she’s leaving on her own. She and Doug are having a baby.”
“Oh. Ow.” She sucked in her breath in sympathy. “I’m sorry. Had you ever—?”
“Wanted kids?” That he knew what she meant seemed to surprise her, if the lifted eyebrows were any indication. “No. I mean, not seriously. But then, nothing about our marriage was serious.”
“You loved her.”
He compared his memories to how he felt with Peyton, the power of his emotions around her. It could just be the newness, he was no fool, and Jen had destroyed most of their happy memories, so to compare the two relationships was foolish. Still. “I wonder if I did.”
“It’s hard to remember, because you have all the pain blocking your way, but you did. I can see it when you look at her.”
