Page 140 of Her Reluctant Hero
She met his eyes. “No.”
“Why not?”
The emotion she’d held back since she’d arrived in Belize broke through. “Because you were more important than a damn box, because we were more important.” Her throat strained as she pushed the words out while choking on tears. “But you couldn’t see that and you let it eat through you. Let it eat through us as well.” She wished for a radio, a CD, anything for a distraction.
“I needed it. You knew that.”
She swallowed so her voice wouldn’t break. “You used to need me more.”
“You couldn’t be everything for me, Mallory.”
She could almost hear the snap as he lost control of his temper.
“And clearly, I couldn’t be everything for you. I couldn’t make the sacrifice you needed me to make. I guess Jonathan could. What did he give up for you, Mallory? How did he prove to you that he loved you more than your parents did?”
Damn, he’d taken it too far. Adrian pulled himself back, physically, emotionally, hating himself for making her eyes sheen, her jaw clench. Her parents had been killed in a mudslide in Nicaragua a few years after she’d married him. Her devastation had slain him. She’d cried for months, leaning on him for the first time in their relationship. He could still feel her in his arms, smell her tears. Never had he felt so helpless. That was when he’d bought her the house, hoping to make everything better. Instead, it had been the beginning of the end.
“I’m sorry, Mal, I didn’t mean—”
She waved off his concern, bumping his forearm and snatching her hand away. “It’s been five years since they died.”
And he’d thought she’d meant to leave archaeology, leave him, after only a few years of marriage. She’d been that upset. Her parents had been archaeologists who carted her around the world before she decided to follow in their footsteps. At that point, he would have done anything to keep her with him. What changed in the intervening years?
The silence that followed was interminable. Damn it, he didn’t want to hurt her again. He didn’t want her to regret returning.
Okay, yes, he knew she hadn’t come back to him, but here she was, with him, working side by side with him again, something he’d never thought would happen, something he’d missed more than he cared to admit.
See, this was why he wasn’t good at communicating. He’d tried a conversation and ended up at an uncomfortable dead-end. How did he get out of this topic? “That was a stupid thing for me to say,” he ventured.
She waved him off, her jaw so tight he thought she’d crack some teeth. He’d just wanted her to see she was being unfair. His timing was shit—they were alone, unable to escape each other’s company for another few hours. She was probably tempted to drop him in the jungle, though.
Back in the old days, he’d make it better by nuzzling her throat, seducing her out of a bad mood. He could count on one hand the number of fights that hadn’t ended in sex. But maybe it was good that he didn’t have that crutch, that neither was able to walk away. If they hadn’t walked away from each other three years ago, maybe they would have had this discussion then, maybe they would have worked things out.
Maybe they’d still be together.
“Your parents weren’t bad people. Just single minded.”
She cast him a look that singed his good intentions. “You’d know about that.”
“I’m sorry, Mallory,” he said. Again she waved him off. “I’m apologizing here. Pay attention. I think it may be a first.”
A smile twitched her lips. “I suppose I should be honored.”
“You should be.” He nodded emphatically, relieved that his charm had worked, if not his seduction.
She eased the car out of gear and pulled the parking brake. Automatically, he looked around, though he knew there were no cars for miles.
“What?”
Mallory shifted to look at him. “Look, Adrian, we share a past, but if this is going to work between us, we can’t live there, all right? We have to start fresh, like we were never married, never—” She bit off whatever she was going to say and looked around. “We can’t be taking trips down memory lane. It’s too painful. So I’m just here as an archaeologist, no different from Dr. Vigil.”
He tried the smile again, but she looked away before he could offer her that comfort. “I hate to tell you, but the prof and I often discuss the past. It kind of goes along with being an archaeologist.”
“You and Dr. Vigil don’t have the past we do. Don’t be a stubborn ass, Adrian. Can we just keep our conversations professional?”
Damn, he loved a challenge. He wondered if she realized just how she was challenging him. He nodded, not agreeing to what she thought he was agreeing to. “No more stubborn ass.”
She snorted and put the car into gear.
