Page 51 of Lone Star Longing
“No. I thought, you know, he’d want to see me.”
“No, he said he’s staying in North Carolina this time. He’ll be back in six months, he said.”
“The baby will be here by then.” She couldn't stop the wail that emerged from her throat.
“The what, now?”
“The baby. I’m already about four and a half months.”
“Pregnant?”
“Yes, pregnant!” Oh God, had he not even told his mother she was pregnant? “The baby’s due the end of October. Jesse didn't tell you?”
“There has to be a reason he didn't tell me. Maybe he wanted to tell me in person.”
“Maybe.” But then why didn't he come? What was keeping him in North Carolina? “Do you have his cell number, please? I want to make sure I have the right number.”
His mother hesitated. “I’ll tell him to call you.”
“You won’t give me his number?” Lacey was incredulous.
“I’m sure if he wanted you to have it, he would have given it to you.”
What kind of mother would say that about her son? “You heard me say I’m pregnant with his child? Your grandchild? I just want to know what went wrong that he didn't come when he said he was going to.”
“Maybe you’re the reason,” she said, and disconnected.
Now Lacey did drop to the floor, her bag hitting with a thud beside her.
She pulled up the last number she had for Jesse, and lo and behold, it connected.
“I’m in San Antonio. Where are you?” She was beyond caring if she stepped on his feelings right now. Her own were laid raw, for anyone walking past to see.
“Hey, I’m in North Carolina. What are you doing in San Antonio?”
“You said you were coming here before you came to see me, and I didn't want to wait so I asked your mom for the flight information, and now you’re not here.”
“No, I told you I needed some time with my boys. I’m not making it to Texas this trip.”
“You’re not making it to Texas. At all.”
“No. Why did you come wait for me?”
She drew in a deep breath. “Call me crazy, I thought you might want to see me before I got as big as a house.”
“Lace, look. I’m not ready for all that. I don't want to be a dad yet. I have too much I want to do before I get tied down. Maybe in like five years or so.”
“So I’ll just tell your kid when he’s in kindergarten, his dad might show up?” Rage squeezed her throat shut.
“This wasn't my decision, Lacey. I would have told you to end the pregnancy, but you didn’t really give me a chance, did you? Is it too late now?”
“Of course it’s too late now. Do you think I’m going to end my pregnancy to please you?” But of course he did. How much of her life had she changed to please him? Her entire personality had changed to accommodate his moods. “No. No, this is my child, and I’ll raise him without you, that’s fine. In fact, please don't come to see him. We’re going to be fine all on our own.”
She was shaking so hard she dropped the phone when she disconnected, and the screen cracked, corner to corner. Tears sprang to her eyes but she fought them back, unwilling to make a spectacle of herself in the middle of the airport.
But she needed to get out of here. She needed to hide in a hole somewhere and give in to her rage.
The only person she knew in San Antonio was Beck. God, she didn't want to admit to Beck that she had been such an idiot. She didn't want to admit to him that she wasn't good enough to get her boyfriend to come to see her.
