Page 53 of Lone Star Longing
He didn't know if she meant right now or in the long run, with her baby. “It’s no problem. Let’s go get a hotel room and figure things out.” Not that he knew what to tell her to do, any more than she knew.
“A hotel room? I don't know about that.”
“I know I’m not driving back tonight. I still have some business to take care of.”
“I understand, but I don't think I can—no, you’re right. We need to get settled so I can think. I just don't know what to think right now.” She pulled out her phone. “And I cracked my screen.”
“What’d you do? Throw it?”
“Dropped it. My fingers weren’t working great after I talked to him.”
“So you talked to him?”
“Yeah, he isn’t coming to Texas at all this time. Apparently his mom found out last night but she didn't tell me. To be fair, no one knew I was coming to San Antonio to see him, but...”
“But you’d think he’d want to see you since he hasn’t been here in months.”
“You’d think.” She sank back against the seat.
Beck wanted to know what the man had said, but he wasn't going to push. She wasn't as upset as he had expected, and he didn't want to push her over any edge, especially since they were going into a hotel and he didn't want her to look so emotional.
“What do you think, maybe a chain hotel? Those are pretty reliable.”
“Whatever you think.”
“I have some points for the rooms we can use, if we go to that one.”
“I can—you know, that would be nice. Thanks.” Her shoulders dropped and he wondered how much she’d been worrying about money. Of course she had been. She was going to be a single mom now.
At least, he suspected the dude wasn't going to be part of her life, if he bailed on her this visit.
“Once we get settled, we’ll go out for a nice dinner. My treat.”
“You didn't get your stuff done, the whole reason you came here.”
Not the whole reason, but he didn't say. “No, not yet, but stores are open later here, and there’s always tomorrow. And you're going to need to get your screen fixed, too, while we’re here. I mean, you were going to stay here a couple of days anyway, right? You’re not in any big hurry to get back?”
“No, I’m off until Monday. God, what a waste of days.”
“You couldn't have known that.”
“I was so sure of myself. If I’d only let him know what I’d planned, I could have saved us both a lot of trouble.”
Both Beck and her, or both Jesse and her? She seemed more angry at herself than at Jesse, and Beck wasn't sure what to make of that.
“You were being a good girlfriend, spontaneous and romantic. Don't blame yourself.”
“Oh, I don’t. I mean, I do, for wasting this time, but no, I’m full-on pissed at Jesse. You know when his next leave is? Thanksgiving. The baby will be almost a month old at Thanksgiving. Not that...” She choked, then straightened herself again with that determination he’d come to admire. At the same time, he wished she would let herself be a little more vulnerable around him. He could hold her up. “Not that he’s going to come see us then, either. He let me know today he’s not ready to be a dad.”
Rage roared in Beck’s brain. “He let you know today.”
“I...you know, if I start talking about it, I’m going to get upset and I really don't want to do that in public. Let me get to my room and rage-cry for a bit.”
He nodded. “I get you.”
“Do you?” She looked over at him. “Would you ever—I mean, if you didn't want to be with someone, you’d let them know, right? Not just ghost them? Not just hide from them? Because that’s what he’s doing, the coward. He’s hiding from me. Do you know?” Her words strangled a bit. “Do you know that his mother didn't even know I was pregnant? And she said it was my fault he didn't come to Texas. She’s just like him.” She pressed her hands to her temples, then let one slide over her belly on her way back to her lap.
He had to call on every ounce of self control to stop himself from reaching over and taking her hand. He wasn't sure how she’d react, so he didn’t.
