Page 64 of Lone Star Longing
“Oh, you know. Friend of a friend. Ginny was dating a guy from the base, and he had a friend who wanted to meet someone, and Ginny and her guy broke up, but Jesse and I hit it off, I guess. I mean, he was cute, and he knew his mind, and he was different than the guys in town, so I was a little swept away. And then he was deployed and wanted to have someone to write to, you know, someone to come home to, and so we kept in contact, and he came to visit me when he was home, and then I turned up pregnant.”
“Doesn't sound like the world’s greatest love story.”
“You know, even when we were together, I couldn't convince myself we were in love. We didn't have all that much in common, except, well, sex.” She started coughing as she made the admission. “Sorry. But I’m not really a romantic, you know, after watching my parents split up. I’m a lot more practical than to want the fairy tale. But there was something about having a boyfriend overseas, and being a good girlfriend and waiting for him, and sending him things to make his life better. I don't know. I don't know what I thought was going to happen, me going to surprise him. Maybe I did want him to propose, and to take that step. But then I think about his personality, and if we would have gotten along if we were together all the time. I don't think we would have.”
That was sad, that she had been content to settle for a man she didn't love, all in the name of, what? Security?
“I probably shouldn’t have said all that,” she said, wiping her hands on her shorts. “I sound pretty pathetic, I guess. Or heartless. I mean, I had good intentions. I mean, I think I did. And I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out why I’m not more upset about him not showing up, and I realized all the things I was looking forward to, when I surprised him, was not really seeing him so much as seeing the city, doing something different. Man, the more I talk, the worse I sound.”
“You don’t. I mean, I get it. And to be honest, he doesn't seem like he was too much of a prize. So I admit I was kind of wondering how you two got together, and you know, stayed together. I think you’re way too good for him.”
“You clearly didn't hear what I just said about myself.”
“What, about you feeling bad that you didn't love him?”
“Well, yeah. I’m going to have his baby and I didn't love him.”
“You wouldn't be the first. I mean, how do you think my parents got together?”
She blinked at him.
“Don’t you dare tell her I told you.”
“I would never. But wow. I can’t imagine your mom.”
“Yeah, well, let’s not go there. But I’m just saying, she didn't feel like she had any other options. You at least do. You have your dad to help you. You have, well, you have your friends. Me.”
Shit. Why did he go and say that? Because now she was looking at him, her brow creased. He wasn't going to be here for long, just until he got his mom settled. So why was he offering himself to her?
He picked up his phone and tapped through to the weather app. He hadn’t been paying attention, so he couldn't tell if the storm’s intensity had lessened, but he needed to change the subject, and quick.
The radar still showed a lot of red between them and Broken Wheel, and he wasn't enough of a dick to scare her like that. He sighed and stared ahead into the pouring rain.
“I’m...lucky. To have support. To have friends. You’re right. I need to look at my blessings and stop trying to anticipate all the things that can go wrong. I’d mostly be a single mom if I was with Jesse, anyway, you know, him being in the service, and I wouldn’t be able to be with him. So I’d best be looking on the bright side, for my sake, and for my child’s.”
Damn, every time he thought he was able to talk himself out of falling for her, she had to go and say something like that.
