Page 71 of Lone Star Longing
Chapter Seventeen
LACEY SPOONED THE MELTEDice cream and let it drip back into the cardboard bowl. Across the table from her, Poppy just watched, her brow creased. She was probably worried that Lacey was going to melt into a puddle just as she’d allowed her ice cream.
“I can’t believe it. Twins. It was one thing to have one baby on my own. But two? How can I do that? How can I do that to my dad? Twin. Twins.”
“You’ve said that word so much, I don't think it has meaning anymore.” Poppy pushed her empty cardboard bowl toward the center of the table.
“How would you feel if you were blindsided like that?”
Dr. Fredrick had explained that she hadn’t known before because the other twin was hidden. She’d said that was more common in a mono-amniotic pregnancy, but these appeared to be fraternal twins.
“What would you have done if you had known before?” Poppy asked, her tone reasonable.
“Nothing, of course. Because I still thought Jesse would be willing to be a part of their lives. But now he’s not and it’s just me and my dad and—how am I going to manage?” She took a deep breath to battle the despair that threatened to swamp her, her brain racing for options that all seemed to disappear in the ether before she could grasp any of them.
Poppy reached over and squeezed her hand. “You’ll manage. You’re smart. You’re the most practical person I know. But I mean, you still have the option of adoption.”
The word struck Lacey right in the heart, and she met her friend’s gaze. “You know, I already love this baby—well, what I thought of as just this baby. Now there are two. How can I love two?”
“Twice as much?” Poppy asked. “I’m here for you, too, no matter what.”
“But I can't ask that of you, either. You have your life. I don't want to ask you to be living mine.”
“You’re part of my life. I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it. I love you, too, and I love the babies, but if giving them up for adoption would be best for you, I’ll stand behind you.”
“Thank you. I just—I guess I need to talk to my dad. See what he says. I know for sure I can’t do it without him.” No way could she raise two babies all alone. But her brain—and her heart—were resistant to putting them up for adoption.
She was still in shock. She knew it. She didn't know how to start to process this. Even ice cream wasn't helping. She dropped her spoon in the cup and sat back.
“I’m ready to go home.”
“What? No shopping? You need a bathing suit.”
“An enormous one, apparently.” She thought briefly about the few outfits she’d bought already, wondering how far into her pregnancy they’d carry her, now. But she was in no mood to go shopping. She felt bad, because she’d sold Poppy on the plan, and she didn't want to back out.
“I mean, we’re still going to Fort Clark Springs, right? You were talking about taking charge of your life. You’re not going to change that now, are you?”
“No, of course not, but I need some time to process.”
“Well, you can’t order a suit off the internet, not when we’re already here in town. Come on. It will help your mind to relax.”
“Ha. I doubt that.” But she let Poppy drag her out of the ice cream parlor and to the outdoor mall down the road.
“On the plus side, your boobs look fabulous,” Poppy remarked, sitting in the fitting room and admiring the fit of the saggy maternity suit. “Are you sure you want something that baggy?”
“Of course. Who knows how enormous I’ll get with two? I need room to grow.”
“Yeah, but you probably won’t be going swimming in October. Buy one that fits you now, maybe until August. You can always buy another if you outgrow it.”
“Not at these prices.” Lacey wagged the price tag at Poppy, whose eyes widened.
“You’re right. Okay. But I’m just saying, this does not do you any favors. Except your boobs. They’ll look good in any of them.”
She settled on a navy blue polka dot suit that Poppy approved. The suit molded to her body, but was modest enough that she’d feel comfortable swimming with her friends.
“The dots will be the size of Easter eggs by the time I’m done with it,” Lacey sighed as she paid.
