Page 73 of Lone Star Longing
“You might need more than that,” she said with a sigh, nodding toward his bottle.
He looked up at her then. “Why’s that? The baby’s okay, isn’t he? Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” He inspected the outfits again and smiled. “A boy?”
All the words she’d planned fled her mind. “One is. And as far as we know, they’re healthy. I’ll have an amnio on my next visit but—”
Her dad paled and his mouth dropped open, his hand slackened on the beer. “One is? How many are there?”
“It’s twins. She couldn't see the sex of Baby B, but she could see Baby A was a boy.” She pulled the sonogram picture out of her purse. “Here’s Baby A, and here’s Baby B.” She circled the images on the picture with her finger.
Her dad picked up the picture to look more closely, then set it down again and looked at her, his expression unreadable. “Twins don't run in our family.”
“Maybe they run in Jesse’s. I don't know. All I know is, today I found out I’m having two babies. At the same time.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“How do I feel?” She sat back, her hands flat on the table, and gave a dry laugh. “I feel completely freaked out. I was struggling with how I was going to handle one baby, and now there are two. Twice the diapers. Twice the food. Twice the clothes. Twice the laundry. Two cribs, two car seats.” On the way home, she realized she was going to have to get a newer, bigger car. “Maybe a minivan. I don't know if I could have handled this better if I knew Jesse was going to help out, but now, knowing he won’t....”
Her dad reached over and covered her hand with his. “We’ve got this, sweetheart. I will always have your back.”
“But you didn't sign on for this. One baby is one thing, but two babies...you’ve done above and beyond what any father could be asked to do.”
“I love you. And I love those babies. And I will be here for them as long as I’m able.”
“What if—“ Her voice cracked and she looked at his hand on hers. “What if I put them up for adoption? I could still do that, and there are a lot of people who would love a newborn, who would love to take on twins. They would have the means, and the twins could grow up in a life where they’d have more offered to them, and they’d be loved.”
She couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks, so she didn't meet her father’s gaze. Couldn’t. But she could hear the flatness in his voice when he asked,
“Is that what you want to do?”
“I don't know what I want to do.” The tears came full force now, streaming and accompanied by snot and hitches of breath. “I don't know if I am prepared for this. I don't know if I’m made for this.”
“The Lord doesn’t...”
“I know, he doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but Dad. I just don't know how to do this.”
“One day at a time, sweetheart. We’ve gotten through harder things, sadder things. This will be a challenge, but we’ll have two beautiful babies to love and raise, and to teach and to cuddle. We’ll give them the best life we know how. Don't worry. One day at a time.”
