Page 82 of Lone Star Longing
God, what a miserable way to live. Beck didn't think Con needed to be a part of Britt’s life, or that he needed her back in his, but he needed to have someone.
Everyone needed someone.
The dust hadn’t settled when Beck turned onto the ranch driveway. When he pulled up behind Con, Con swung out of the truck, spinning toward the car, making himself look as big as possible. When he recognized Beck, he relaxed a little.
“Man, I thought it was her.”
“No, they figured you didn't want to see her after that, so they sent me.”
Con’s shoulders slumped. Had he wanted Britt to come after him? Maybe that would have been a better option. They could have talked this out in private.
“I just wanted to check on you and make sure you’re okay.”
“Sure. I’m great.” Con’s words were sharp. “I figure, hey, why am I letting her being here dictate what I want to do with my friends and I get there and everyone’s talking about how I haven’t moved on and you know what? God, it pisses me off that y’all are sitting there talking about me, judging me, when you don't know my life.”
“Dude, look, I’m sorry. You’re right, we don't know. We just know what we see. You’re not happy. You’re not enjoying life.”
“I have been. The past few weeks have been more fun than I’ve had in a long time.”
“And then she comes back, and what?”
“It’s not even her, man. You were all sitting there talking about me, pitying me. I don't need your pity. I mean, yeah, you and Britt left, saw the world, but Ginny and Sofia and Lacey and Poppy and Javi, they’re all stuck here just like me.”
“The thing is, I don't think they feel like they’re stuck. I think that’s you. You’re the one who’s here but doesn't want to be. We’re sad about the situation that’s keeping you here.”
He gripped the edge of the bed of his truck and looked out over the ranch. “Yeah, well, what am I going to do about it? Life is what it is. I’m good at what I do, at least. I have security. I have a home. I know where my money’s coming from. I have it a lot better than a lot of people whose choices were taken away from them.”
Beck nodded, thinking about Lacey. “I’m sorry, man. We shouldn’t have been talking behind your back. We shouldn’t have been talking to Britt about you.”
He passed a hand over his hair. “No, you know? It’s good. It’s fine. I just....I don't want to feel vulnerable in front of her. You get that, don't you?”
“Yeah, of course. Of course I understand. Again, I’m sorry we did that to you. I just...I wanted to come out and make sure you’re okay, and that you’re still going with us to Fort Clark?”
Con leaned against his truck. “What day?”
“The best day for everyone is Thursday? Can you get away?”
“I’ll find a way.”
“Good. Good. We’ll make it a good day. You okay? We okay?”
Con nodded once and turned toward the house. “We’re just fine.”
