Page 127 of Lone Star Longing
“This would be a great place to have a little table, have coffee in the morning. We can’t see the sunrise or sunset from here, but it’s still a pretty place.”
He led her into the bathroom, describing a tub and shower combination, more cabinets, before he showed her the other bedrooms and bathrooms. She could only listen to his words, because she really couldn't figure out the rooms and everything, when the walls were still open. Everything looked like it was going to be small.
He walked her back out to the wrap-around porch. “So what do you think?”
“I think it’s beautiful.” Big for one man. Four bedrooms. Sounded like something for a family.
“You came looking for me? What did you need?”
“I, ah.” She put some distance between them, wishing there was a rail to lean against or something. “I came because I wanted to ask you something, and you can say no if you want to.”
“Go ahead,” he said, folding his arms over his chest.
She tried to push the image of what he looked like without a shirt out of her head. “I was going to ask if you would be in the delivery room with me, when it’s time.”
His hands fell to his sides instantly, his mouth going slack. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. I kept thinking about how you made me feel last night when I was so scared, and how I was calmer with you there, and I want you to be in the room when the babies are born.” She forced herself to meet his gaze, to watch his reaction as he processed her request.
“I would love to be there with you,” he said, his voice soft, almost reverent. “I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.”
“I thought about it, a lot. And I want you there. Poppy, too, you know, but you, also.”
He nodded. “Yes. Thank you, Lacey.”
She nodded. “I need to tell you why I want you there.”
“You did.”
“No, I...I’ve been thinking about you. I’ve been thinking about you a lot, and how wonderful you’ve been to me, and how I keep pushing you away because I’m scared you’re going to leave me.”
“Yeah, well, that’s understandable, I guess.”
“But it’s not. You’re not like my mother. I had a long talk with her this morning that helped me understand why she left, and I thought about how unfair I’ve been to you when you’ve told me time and again you weren’t going to leave. And I thought about, you know, how even if you do want to go, that I’m not tied here anymore. I mean, I love the town, I love what I do, I love my dad, but I’m not tied here. If you got tired of the place and you wanted to go, I—we—could go with you. If you wanted.”
God, keeping eye contact while saying that was the hardest thing she’d ever done, but she was rewarded by watching the confusion in his eyes give way to warmth and—joy?
“What are you saying, Lace? Are you saying you’ll take me up on my proposal?”
“I mean.” She dropped her gaze then, not meaning to shame him into a proposal. “I’m not asking you for anything.”
“I’m asking you,” he said, stepping closer. “If I ask again, will you say no?”
She looked up into his eyes as he took her hand. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes that made her feel steady and strong. That made her want things she hadn’t allowed herself to believe she could have.
She took a deep breath. “No. As long ask you know, you want me for myself and not because you feel sorry for me. For us.” She felt like she needed to remind him he was getting a package deal.
The smile that spread across his face took her breath away, and she pressed her free hand to her chest when he dropped down on one knee.
“I think this is probably the best place to do this, in the home I want to share with you, the home I built with you in mind.” He hadn’t released her hand, now stroked the back of it with the fingertips of his other hand. “I love you, Lacey Davila. I love your heart. I love your generosity. I love your strength. I didn't think there was anything here in Broken Wheel for me. I thought I’d be here and gone in a day. I’m so glad I stayed and found you. Will you marry me?”
She pulled her hand free, and saw the pain slash across his face. But she put her hand on his shoulder, the other on one of the posts of the porch, and with no small effort, lowered herself to her knees in front of him.
“Lace.”
“No, let me,” she said, settling on her knees, wanting to be on the same level with him. “You have been there for me in the worst times of my life, and the best,” she said. “The bad times were made better because you were there, and the good times were made the best, because you were there. You say you love those things about me, but you make me feel those things. When I’m scared, thinking of you makes me strong. When I don't want to do something, thinking of you makes me generous. When I don't think I’m worthy of love, thinking of you makes me believe that I am.” Tears were flowing down her cheeks, and through her blurred vision, she thought she saw tears on his cheeks, as well. “You rescued me once upon a time, and I was scared of letting you do it again. But I realized that’s who you are, and that’s the man I love.”
He pulled her close, his hands on her waist, and covered her mouth with his. She wound her arms around his neck to bring him closer, holding him to her and opening herself to him, that bubble of elation she’d felt earlier expanding and expanding until she felt like it was surrounding both of them.
