Page 86 of Tumbleweed Temptation
“Did you sleep at all?” she asked softly as she unlocked the car remotely.
He shook his head.
“Let me cancel your appointments. I brought the schedule with me, just in case.”
“No. I won’t be able to sleep now anyway, I don't think. I’ll just go as long as I can. If I hit a wall, you can call.”
“You want to stop for some coffee?”
He shook his head again. The coffee he’d chugged all night sloshed in his stomach.
“Something to eat? I know we’re in a hurry but I thought we’d stop for coffee.”
“Sure, of course.” The least he could do since she drove all this way
“But you should get something to eat. Long day.”
“Don't think I can eat,” he said as she pulled into the long line at the drive thru. It was rush hour in San Angelo.
“I’ll get something, if you don't eat, you don't have to, but maybe you’ll want it down the road.”
He grunted, his arms over his chest as he looked straight ahead at the cracked taillight of the Chevy Malibu in front of them. That reminded him, he hadn’t even looked to see what car he was in. He wouldn't know her car if he had to locate it in the lot.
Her sedan was older, the dash dusty, but otherwise clean. Probably because she didn't drive it very much. He angled his head to check the gas gauge. A little under half a tank.
She didn't ask what he wanted, placed the order and pulled up. The silence between them might have been awkward, but because he was with Ginny, it wasn’t. How did she know he didn't want to talk? He really appreciated that he hadn’t had to tell her, that she’d just sensed it. Evidence of how well she knew him.
A few moments later he jolted when he heard her voice, and realized he’d drifted off, and her transaction at the drive thru had woken him. Man. He hadn’t thought it was possible.
She pulled away from the window, rummaged for her breakfast sandwich before passing him the bag. She took a big swig of her coffee, then turned onto the main road to head out of town. He looked into the bag as she unwrapped her breakfast with one hand, but the idea of eating turned his stomach.
“The seat goes back a little. The lever’s on the side,” she said.
He fumbled for it and leaned back, closed his eyes, but he couldn't go to sleep. All he could see was Susan’s pain, both physical and emotional. She’d been curled in on herself, over her baby when the infant girl was placed in her arms.
Every muscle in his body went rigid with the need to move.
“Hey, can you pull over?”
She glanced over at him, alarmed, but a few feet down the road turned into a parking lot. He had the door open and was out of the car before it rolled to a complete stop. He picked up the bag that dropped off his lap and tossed it back into the car before striding to the front of the car, then back to the still-open door, then bending in half and gripping his knees. He wanted to roar with rage, but she’d parked in the lot of a shopping center, and while it was still early, there were people about.
Ginny was out of the car, too, standing near the hood, uncertain. He looked up at her, and suddenly, his view of her blurred.
“She didn't deserve this. A miscarriage would have been kinder, than letting her go six and a half months with hope that this time...” His words caught in his throat and he straightened, those muscles all tight again. “I can’t. I can’t. I don't know how to deal with this, with this pain. People I know. People I know, and Jesus, what did I do? Was there something else I could have done? I studied, but I’m not a obstetrician. Were there signs I should have caught?”
Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. “What do you think you missed? What could have caused this that you could have stopped?”
“I monitored everything I was supposed to monitor, but I should have had her come in more often. Maybe I would have caught something.”
She stepped forward then and put her hand on his arm. “You know what she’s been through. The miscarriages, everything else. This wasn't your fault.”
“I should have made her go stay in San Antonio, near a specialist.”
“She couldn't have afforded that, you know that.”
“She wanted this baby more than anything.” His throat was tight, as if it didn’t want to let the words out.
Her tears flowed freely now. “I know she did.”
