Page 51 of Ocotillo Kisses
Chapter Nineteen
Brittpulled up in front of the McKay ranch house, behind Con’s truck. She was surprised to see Con and Alexis on the front porch, but instead of smiling, Alexis looked defeated. Britt parked and hopped out of the car, almost in one motion.
“Hey, what’s going on?”
“I don’t think I’m going to go,” Alexis said, bracing her hand against a column on the porch. “I just don’t know about being so far from home, and I don’t know how to drive one of those carts you were talking about, and we wouldn’t be able to go out to eat, and I wouldn’t be able to go to the bathroom.”
As Alexis spoke, her tone rising with each item on her list, Britt mounted the steps and took her hands, guiding her to one of the chairs by the front door. Alexis didn’t want to look into her eyes, but Britt crouched in front of her, looked up into her face. She saw the fear clouding out the bit of hopefulness there, and she wanted to reach through the fear.
“You were so excited about going. What happened?”
“I just started thinking of everything that could go wrong. What if none of those shopping carts are available? What if the store doesn’t have a handicapped stall? What if the restaurant only has booths?”
“Then we could go to another restaurant. That’s no big deal. Alexis, I’m not trying to talk you into going, but you sound like you’re talking yourself out of it. Any of those problems, we can be there to fix.”
“I used to like to try new things,” Alexis said, blinking and turning her head away, to hide the tears rolling down her cheeks. “I would be excited to try them. I haven’t been to San Angelo in probably ten years, isn’t that crazy? I couldn’t even be there to support my husband when he was so sick. Just the idea of going into that hospital froze me up. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Oh, honey,” Britt said, her heart hurting for the woman she’d known since she was a child.
“And it just seems wrong to want to go to look at party decorations when I couldn’t even be there for my husband.”
Britt glanced up at Con, whose mouth was pressed thin, his hands in his pockets. Britt mimed blowing her nose and jerked her head toward the house so he’d know to get tissues. She didn’t want to leave Alexis alone.
“I know I wasn’t here, but I know what you did for him when he was home,” Britt said quietly when Con went inside. “I know the pressure you faced taking care of him, and worrying about him, and saying goodbye to him all at the same time.” She held Alexis’s hand to her cheek for a moment. “I know he loved you, and wouldn’t begrudge you a fun trip into town. Like I said, if all of that truly makes you nervous, you don’t have to go. But if you truly want to go, Con and I will make it as easy as possible.”
Con returned and held the box of tissue to his mom. She took a couple, and then Britt took one herself to dab at the moisture beneath her own eyes.
“I just hate the way I look.” Alexis’s tone was bitter. “Why did I let myself get this way?”
“Alexis. You are working hard, I know. And you didn’t think about this when we went into Kimmel the other night, did you?”
Alexis took a deep breath, still not meeting Britt’s gaze. “I did, but not this bad. I didn’t have all night to think about it.”
“Look, it’s okay, Mom, we can just stay home,” Con said.
Britt snapped her gaze to his. She was trying to convince his mom it was okay for her to go, and he was trying to talk her out of it?
“You told Britt you’d go with her,” Alexis said.
“Youtold me you’d go with me,” Britt reminded her. “Truly, I don’t mind going by myself, but I also don’t want you talking yourself out of something you really want to do.”
“Britt.”
Con’s voice held a warning. About what, Britt wasn’t sure. She settled back on her heels and leveled her gaze on his. He knew his mom best, of course, but Britt couldn’t help recalling Alexis’s earlier enthusiasm.
“I’m just afraid of so many things,” Alexis said, her voice small. “I hate being afraid all the time.”
“You can face your fears,” Britt said, turning her attention back to the other woman. “You can face them, and we’ll be there to support you. Like I said, I’m not trying to coerce you, just letting you know. You do what you feel the best doing.”
Alexis looked down at Britt. “You won’t think bad of me if I say I feel best just staying here?”
Britt hoped she was able to cover up the defeat she felt, because yes, she was trying to convince Con’s mom to step out of her comfort zone. She thought she’d made progress with the dance hall, and Con had made some with the town hall meeting.
“I will never think bad of you for taking care of yourself,” Britt said.
Alexis gave another swipe of the tissue across her eyes, eliminating the last of the makeup she’d applied. “I’m going to stay here, then. That way I won’t slow you two down. And maybe Con can send me pictures of the decorations and I can pick from them.” She seemed to gain confidence in her decision, and she drew her shoulders back.
