Page 55 of Hearts on Ice
Right. Separate them. Talk to them. But say what?
“What happened?” Declan asked when he got Josh to the opposite side of the rink, though the kid was too restless to sit.
Declan looked across the rink at Colby, her head bent toward Lexi, who was gesticulating pretty wildly.
Josh’s whole body seemed vibrate with tension. “I mean, I just wanted to go and have fun. My friends were there and we just started hanging out, and I mean. I just wanted to think about something besides skating, and those guys, well, it was fun to talk to them. You know how hard it is to be a guy who ice skates, and how other guys look at you, like they don’t believe you’re strong because you take ballet and gymnastics and know how to dance. So they were just treating me like a normal guy, and it was really cool. I knew she was upset, you know, because I could see her, but I just couldn’t leave the guys.”
“And what was she doing? Was she hanging out with her friends?”
Josh sighed and dropped to one of the seats, stretching his long legs out in front of him. He lifted a helpless hand in her direction. “She doesn’t really have any friends, you know? She’s all about skating, just has her head down at school. I get it, you know, because we don’t have time outside of school to hang out with anyone, but it’s kind of sad, too.” Josh turned and looked straight at Declan. “You know what I mean, right? I mean, you were already competing when you were our age.”
Declan looked toward the two females again, remembering the challenges he and Colby had faced. “We, ah, we didn’t go to high school after we turned sixteen. We had a tutor and spent most of the day practicing, or taking dance, or gymnastics.”
Josh put his hands out to gesture for Declan to keep his voice down. “Man, that had to suck.”
“We were pretty driven, and our parents were willing to spring for the extra fees, on top of the salaries for our coaches and everyone else. But yeah. It was lonely. But no one else understands. No one understood us then, no one understands you now. So I get the appeal of hanging out with your friends, but you agreed to take Lexi, and then you abandoned her. You asked her to go with you, you were obligated to show her a nice time. The two of you have a connection, right, how could you not after working so closely together for so long.” Just talking about it made Declan feel like he was intruding. “And if you decide to make the connection into something more romantic, like going to a dance together, you need to understand that you owe each other more. You owe each other honesty. You owe each other respect. You didn’t show her either of those things.”
“I know I let her down, but there’s no way to fix it.”
“You can’t go back and fix it, but you can make it up to her.”
“How?” Josh demanded.
Declan was at a loss. He didn’t know. He’d seriously thought the kids were upset about the drama between him and Colby. He’d thought about how to address that, so this blindsided him.
“I’m not sure. You’re going to have to do something to keep the peace between you, though. You work together and if you’re going to date also, that adds another level of complexity to it. So you’re going to have to be more considerate of her feelings.”
“Did anything like this happen when you were dating Colby? When you were skating together?”
Declan looked toward Colby, against the rail with Lexi, who was gesticulating toward Josh. “I loved her more than she loved me.” And he had a feeling he was falling into that same trap again.
CHAPTER 22
“Idon’t know why he even asked me if all he wanted to do was hang around with his friends.”
Lexi’s voice carried across the ice, more shrill than Colby had heard, and Colby motioned for her to take it down a notch. Colby didn’t have a lot of experience dealing with teenagers, and enough time had passed that she barely remembered being one.
Colby drew a deep breath. “I’m going to give you some advice. Don’t give him so much power. You’re giving him power right now over your emotions and he doesn’t deserve that right. You have to be in charge of your own emotions.”
“You don’t understand.”
Colby snorted out a breath. “I think I understand better than anyone. You’re with him all the time. He’s cute, he’s sweet, and part of the routine is the two of you acting like you’re in love. I absolutely get it. But letting your happiness depend on him is your mistake. You have to decide what makes you happy and if he wants to come along for the ride, that’s great. More power to you. But making him responsible for your happiness is just asking to get hurt. You hold the power, Lexi.”
“I don’t feel like I do.”
“Of course you do. You’re in charge of your own happiness, your own life.”
Lexi gave a huff. “I’m sixteen. I don’t feel like I have any control.”
Colby leaned back to look at the younger woman. “I remember that feeling, but looking back, I realized how much I had. First of all, you are working on something you want, right? This is the career you’ve chosen. All of what you’re doing is taking you to that goal. Right?”
“Sure.”
“You are working with the partner you’ve chosen. Right?”
“Sure.”
“So you’re in charge of your career. You’re in charge of your feelings about your career. I understand you don’t have the flexibility with your education the way Declan and I did. But you are in charge of your own emotions, and you cannot let them take charge of you. You have to show everyone you’re in control. You have to show maturity beyond your years. This behavior out here is not showing maturity. You’re letting your emotions get in the way of your skating, and you cannot allow that to happen, if you truly want this to be your career. And let me tell you, nothing is more powerful than being confident and talented.”
