Page 77 of Hearts on Ice
“I talked to her a bit when you all were here for the party. She hardly talked about herself, you know, just herself. She talked about Josh and Lexi, and the rink, and the videos, and you. The Colby of seven years ago didn’t know there was someone else to talk about besides Colby, you know?”
Declan shook his head and stared into the wine he hadn’t even sipped. “It doesn’t change the fact that she brought her manager back into this without discussing it with me. It doesn’t change how I feel right now, all the pain from our marriage coming back.”
“No, I get that,” Meghan said. “That’s a fair reaction. But before this happened, did you feel that way when you were with her?”
He looked at his sister-in-law a moment. “You were never a fan of Colby’s.”
“All the more reason for you to listen to me. If I hated her, I would be like, hell, yeah, kick her to the curb. But I keep thinking about how I saw you together. You were so happy. I haven’t seen you that happy in a long time.”
He lifted both hands, then let them fall back to land on either side of his glass. “I don’t know what to believe. I thought she was happy, that we were happy, moving forward to a new future. When she signed on some new clients, I was going to talk to her about maybe looking at getting a house together. I was ready to start over, go forward, not look back anymore. But now I’m pretty sure she never planned to take on new clients, never planned to stay, was always looking for the next thing, just like she did when we were younger.” He looked over at his brother, whose brow creased in sympathy. “I don’t know what to do now.”
“I am not like my surprisingly empathetic wife,” Evan said. “She never signed the contract, so you should have kicked her to the curb then. I mean, Meghan, you told me that night that Colby couldn’t decide if she was staying, right?”
Both men turned to look at Meghan, who sighed deeply. “She didn’t really seem to know what she wanted, that part is true.”
“If she doesn’t know what she wants, then she doesn’t want me.” Declan felt the hole in his heart expanding, and wondered if he’d ever be the same.
CHAPTER 30
Declan was unprepared for how much he would miss Colby as he worked with his students. He couldn’t stop himself from looking for her from the ice, because he was certain she wouldcome back at some point and plead her case. He didn’t know why he believed that, because she’d never come back when they’d split last time—everything had been done through lawyers. Once she hadn’t shown up at the exhibition, he’d never seen her again. She had gone to their house after he’d left for the rink, gotten most of her things, and took off.
She’d been a coward.
He didn’t think she was still a coward, but he hadn’t seen her.
Of course she may be just respecting his wishes. He’d wanted space from her, and she was giving it to him, right?
He didn’t know what to believe.
He didn’t like staying at Evan and Meghan’s. He was intruding on their lives, even though he was out the door before they woke up, and back home after they’d come home from work. But he was a disruption as far as the kids were concerned, because they wouldn’t settle down with him there, and yes, he missed the peace and quiet of his own place.
He missed Colby.
They weren’t the same people they’d been seven years ago, Meghan had been right about that. Colby wasn’t, Declan wasn’t.
Back then, he had been pretty focused on his dream, getting the rink, earning money to pay for it and the upgrades he wanted to make. That’s what the skating exhibitions had been about. She had been focused on her own dream, on being famous, staying famous, admired, showcasing the talent she’d worked for years to build.
Her dreams had been valid. He hadn’t wanted them. His dreams had been valid. She hadn’t wanted them.
And they’d been too young to know how to talk about it.
They needed to talk about it this time, if they had any hope of a future.
And honestly he couldn’t think of a future without her.
It was time for them to talk.
He didn’t want to do it here at the rink, and he didn’t want to do it at the apartment, because if it went wrong, he didn’t want the sorrow lingering in either place.
He called, but she didn’t answer. Okay, fair. He’d kept her at a distance long enough. So he texted her.
Can we talk?
No response. So of course he was going to be checking his phone every two minutes until he heard back.
Or he could drive over to the apartment. But when he got there, her car was in the lot, but she wasn’t there. Her things were, which reassured him a little. Maybe she’d walked somewhere, or used a ride share, but he didn’t know where she might have gone.
That frustrated him. He should know that, right?
