Page 79 of Hearts on Ice
He looked over at her, his jaw tight. “To tell me what else you and Xavier have in store?”
She pressed her lips together so she didn’t say something she’d regret. “That restaurant is open.” She pointed. “Let’s go there and talk.” She hadn’t eaten before her flight, wasn’t sure she could eat now, she was so anxious about the outcome of this conversation.
But when they walked up to the door of the restaurant, the hostess met them.
“We’re closing in ten minutes.”
Colby did not want to be rushed, so she shook her head at Declan and they headed back to the truck.
Ten tense minutes passed before they found a chain restaurant that was open. They walked in and sat down, and her stomach immediately started rumbling in response to the smell of fried food.
After the waitress took their order, she folded her hands on the table and faced Declan.
“I wasn’t in California with Xavier. I went to see my mother and talk to her about her interference in our lives. She was the one who contacted Xavier. She’d told me she was going to do it, but I never thought he’d take interest in our videos, never thought he’d just show up. He called me, but I thought he’d take the hint when I didn’t answer. I was as surprised as you when he appeared.”
“And yet you skated for him.”
She frowned. “I…did because I was interested to see how the videos would come out with a more experienced crew. And if I’m honest, I worked with him long enough that if he asks me to do something, I do it.”
“I came back to let you explain it to me, and then you were out there on ice like it was something you planned all along. How was I supposed to know it wasn’t something you wanted?”
“I do want our videos to be successful,” she said. “But I want them to beourvideos, something we work on together, you and me. Xavier is not part of the equation. He showed me some tricks, taught me some things we can use, but he’s not working with us. And I went to Mom’s to make sure she knows what my priorities are now.”
He blew out a breath, sounding so weary, the sound matching his expression. That scared her because maybe that meant he was tired of her drama, was done with her.
“I guess I don’t understand why you went.”
“Why stay?” She lifted her hands and sat back against the booth. “You didn’t want to talk to me, you didn’t want me working with the kids, there was no point in being here, and I don’t think she could measure my true feelings just over the phone. Just like I wouldn’t have wanted to have this conversation with you over the phone.”
He nodded slowly. “So I guess the question I need answered is, what do you want, Colby?”
“You.” There was no hesitation. The word popped out of her mouth without even traveling through her brain. “You. That’s all that matters.”
She thought she saw a bit of relief in his posture, though he remained guarded. And so did she. She didn’t know how to break through that defense.
“If that’s what matters, Colby, then you need to tell me things. You need to for one, commit to staying here. Every time someone asks you, you don’t answer. You act like you haven’t decided. And before we take one more step, I need to know. Are you staying?”
“Yes.” Again, no hesitation. “I know I’ve made mistakes in the past and you have every reason to doubt me, but I’ve never been happier than the past few weeks. I have been afraid of talking about the future because I didn’t want to jinx anything, but yes, a hundred percent yes.” She took a deep breath. “I love you, Declan. I’m sorry I was scared to say it before. Maybe if I had, you wouldn’t have been so freaked when Xavier showed up. But I love you, and I want to be with you, and I want to work with you, and I want to be a part of your family.” She reached her hands toward his on the table, and he drew his away.
Her heart sank. She never really understood that expression, but she felt like all hope dropped to her knees.
“If we’re going to make it, Colby, we have to talk. If you’re scared. If there’s something you want, something you need. If you know something I don’t, even if you think it’s going to upset me. We have to be able to discuss things. We will never make it if we don’t.”
Her heart rose a little higher. “Yes. It might be hard for me, but I promise.”
Now he closed his hands over hers on the table. “It will be hard for me, too. We need to be able to read each other as well off the ice as we did on. I never want to hurt you, but I don’t want to be afraid of hurting you, you know what I mean?”
“I know just what you mean.” She nodded a little frantically, ready to agree with him just so she’d know she was forgiven.
He rose from the booth and dropped a pair of bills on the table, then held out a hand to her. “Come with me.”
They hadn’t eaten, hadn’t even ordered, but she didn’t know if she could even swallow right now. She put her hand in his and let him lead her out to the truck.
The drive back to town was a little less tense than the drive from the airport to the restaurant, but not much. Declan wasn’t very talkative, so she filled the silence telling him about her mother and new stepfather, and how her new stepfather had been on her side when she told her mother to butt out of her business. Declan only grunted in response, like he wasn’t even listening. That didn’t stop her, though, because if she was silent, the doubts would just flood into her brain.
She was thrown off balance when Deck turned on the road to the rink instead of the one to his apartment. “Where are we going?” she asked, even though their destination was clear.
“I just need to pick up a couple of things from my office.”
