Page 37 of The Playboy and the Widow
Cliff opened his mouth to deny it, then quickly decided against trying to bluff his way out of the obvious. He didn’t have any choice but to be honest with Diana. Before he could say anything, she cut him off.
“Don’t lie to me, Cliff Howard,” she declared, folding her arms defiantly around her torso. “Do you think I’m stupid? Do you honestly believe I’m so naive to not know that you’ve planned the big seduction scene?”
“All right. All right.” He eased her arms loose and reached for her stiff fingers, holding them between his hands. “Maybe I’m going off the deep end here, but after the other night, I thought maybe...”
“Exactly what did you think?”
“That you and I had something special going for us. Something very special.”
“You want to make love to me?”
“You’re right I do,” he murmured, and raised her fingertips to his lips. His gaze didn’t leave hers, as though seeking confirmation. “And you want me, too, so don’t try to deny it.”
“I have no intention of doing so. You’re right on target... things could easily have gotten out of hand the other night.”
Cliff was beginning to feel more confident now. He realized that some women required more assurances. “Then you can understand—in light of Thursday night—why I’m thinking what I’m thinking.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively, seeking a way to alter the sober tone of this conversation. Diana was becoming far too defensive over something that was inevitable. Wanting her in his bed shouldn’t be considered a felony. Surely she realized that.
Diana felt incredibly guilty. She couldn’t be angry with Cliff when she’d given him every reason to believe she was willing to sleep with him. Not until he’d left and her head had cleared did she realized how wrong a physical relationship with Cliff was for her. Unfortunately Cliff had no way of knowing about her sudden change of heart. The anger rushed out of her as quickly as it had come. She freed one hand from his grip and gently traced the underside of his well-defined jaw. She wasn’t sure what she’d gotten herself into, but she wanted to make it right for them both.
Cliff captured her hand and held it against his cheek, needing her more and more by the minute. If she didn’t stop looking at him with those incredibly lovely brown eyes, he couldn’t offer any guarantee he’d be able to serve the meal he’d spent so much time preparing.
“Cliff, I feel bad about all this, but I’m simply not ready.”
He stared at her for a full moment, weighing his options. She was frightened, he could see that, and he didn’t blame her for acting like a nervous virgin. It had been a long time since a man had properly loved her. Thursday night she’d been as hot as a firecracker. It had hurt Cliff to leave her, both physically and mentally. She had to know him well enough to realize that he wasn’t going to rush her into something she didn’t want. First he had to make sure everything was right for her.
“Honey,” he whispered, and leaned forward to sample her sweet lips. Their mouths clung, and when he sat back down, he closed his eyes at the bolt of passion that surged through him. “Trust me, you’re ready.”
Diana blinked back the dismay. Nothing she’d said had sunk into Cliff’s thick skull. She tugged her hands free and clenched them together. “Answer me this, Cliff. Do you love me?”
Groaning inwardly, Cliff forced a smile. Over the years he’d come to almost hate that word. Women hurled it at him continually, as if it were a required license for something they wanted as much as he did. “I believe there’s magic between us.”
Diana’s returning grin was infinitely sad. “Oh, Cliff, it sounds as if you’ve used that phrase a hundred times. I expected you to be more original than that.”
She shamed him, because hehadused that line before—not as often as she said, but enough to warrant a guilty conscience. Her look told him how much she disapproved of glib, well-worn words. To hear her tell it, he was another Hugh Hefner. Well, he had news for her—she wasn’t exactly Mother Teresa. He didn’t know how she could deny the very real and strong sexual tension between them. Diana was warm and loving, and confused. All he wanted to do was show her how good things could be between them, and Diana was making it sound as though he should be arrested for even thinking about taking her to bed.
She dropped her gaze and sighed. “It would be best if I went home.”
Her words were as unexpected as they were unwelcome. “No!”
“No?”
“Diana, we’ve got something magical here. Let’s not ruin it.” Cliff was grasping at straws and knew it, but he didn’t want her to leave.
“What we’ve got is a bunch of hormones calling out to one another. There’s no commitment, no love!”
“You don’t believe that.”
“Am I wrong?” she asked with eyes that ripped into his soul. “Are you ready to offer your life to me and the girls?” She knew the answer, even if he didn’t. Love preceded marriage, and although he cared for her, he didn’t love her.
Commitmentwas another word Cliff had come to abhor. He jerked his fingers through his hair, almost afraid to speak for fear of what he’d say. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”
Already she was on her feet, her purse clenched under her arm. “Goodbye, Cliff.”
He stood and crossed the room. “Why are we arguing like this, when all I want to do is make love to you?”
Dejected, Diana paused, her hand on the doorknob. “In case you haven’t figured it out, that’s exactly our problem.”
Cliff was growing more impatient by the minute. Impatient and overwhelmingly frustrated. Okay, so she’d read his intentions; he hadn’t exactly tried to cover up what he’d planned for the evening. She could be a good sport and play along, at least until after dinner. He wasn’t going to force her into anything if she honestly objected. “Is wanting you such a sin?” he asked.
