Page 52 of The Playboy and the Widow
“Not seeing me again was what you wanted, wasn’t it?” Cliff challenged.
Regretfully Diana nodded. It was and it wasn’t. A relationship with Cliff showed such marvelous promise, and at the same time contained the coarse threads of tragedy. If the only threat had beenherheart andheremotions, Diana might have risked it.
At least those had been her thoughts before the accident, when she’d seen how good Cliff had been with her girls. Joan and Katie were already involved.
“I see.”
Diana wasn’t sure he did. If he understood all this, then there wasn’t any reason for this urgent visit now. Suddenly she understood what he was getting at. Her cheeks flushed, and she stood, holding the decorator pillow to her stomach. “Cliff, I apologize.”
“You do?” He was the one who wanted to ask her forgiveness.
“Yes. I had no idea Joan would contact you when Katie was hurt. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. I don’t know why she did it... but I’ve talked with her since and explained that she should never have made that call, and she promised she...”
Cliff stormed to his feet. “I’m not talking about that!”
“You’re not?”
“No.” He lowered his voice, paused and ran his hand along the back of his neck a couple of times. “Listen, I’m doing a poor job of this.”
She stared at him in wide-eyed wonder, not knowing what to think.
“Sit down, would you?”
Diana lowered herself back into the chair.
Cliff paced the space in front of her as though she were a stubborn member of the jury and he were about to make the closing argument in an important trial. He couldn’t believe he was making such a mess of something this basic. Talking to Diana should have been a simple matter of explaining his change of heart, but once he arrived, he felt as nervous as a first-year member of a debate team.
Diana pressed her hands between her closed knees and studied Cliff as he moved back and forth in the small area in front of her chair. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that if he didn’t hurry, the girls would be back and then their peace would be shattered. With Katie doing cartwheels at the sight of him, there wouldn’t be a chance for a decent discussion.
Perhaps, Cliff decided, it would be best to start at the beginning. “Do you remember the night I came over after work and we sat and talked?”
Diana grinned and nodded. “As I recall, we did more kissing than talking.”
Cliff relaxed enough to share a smile with her, and when he spoke his eyes softened with the memory of how good the gentle lovemaking between them had been then. “It didn’t feel right to walk away from you that night.”
Diana’s gaze dropped to the carpet. It hadn’t felt right to her, either, but there was so much more at stake than her feelings or his.
“After I left you, I decided a romantic evening alone together in my condo would be just the thing to seal our fates. Do you remember?”
She wasn’t likely to forget. “Listen, Cliff, I don’t know what your point is, but...”
Cliff wasn’t entirely sure anymore, either. “I guess what I’m having such a difficult time telling you is that I don’t bed every woman I date.” Diana was special, more than special. She had never been, and never would be, a number to him—someone he’d use to boost his ego. He wanted to explain that, and it just wasn’t coming out the way he’d planned.
“It’s none of my business how many women you’ve slept with.” If he was going to make some grand confession, she wasn’t interested in hearing it.
“But this does involve you.”
She stood again, because it was impossible to remain seated. “Listen, Cliff, if you’re going to tell me you slept with that... that bimbo blonde then... don’t.”
“Bimbo blonde? Oh, you mean Marianne. You think I made love to her? Diana, you’ve got to be joking.”
“No, I’m not.” The unexpected pain that tightened her chest made it almost impossible to talk evenly. The power Cliff Howard wielded to injure her heart was lethal. Diana had recognized that early in their relationship and had taken steps to protect herself. Yet here he was, stirring up unwelcome trauma.
“I didn’t sleep with her! Diana, I swear to you by all that I hold dear, I didn’t go to bed with Marianne.” His words were little more than a hoarse whisper.
She walked across the room and looked out the window. Where were the girls when she could really use them? “That’s hardly my business.”
“I’m trying to make a point here.”
