Page 120 of Summer Weddings
Mitch left the café, and Ben was alone once more to deal with the pain and the guilt that had accompanied him most of the night. Even the brandy hadn’t dulled the shock.
He had a daughter.
The words still felt awkward on his tongue. Getting used to the idea was going to require some doing.What bothered him most was the thought of Marilyn struggling alone, without him. It stung a little to know she’d married someone else so soon after his departure. But he couldn’t blame her. What was she to do, pregnant with his child and unable to let him know?
Even if he’d learned the truth, he didn’t think he could’ve helped her the way she needed. He might’ve been able to marry her. Maybe that could’ve been arranged. But he was at war, and it wasn’t like he could call time-out while he dealt with his personal problems. The navy wouldn’t have released him from his obligations because he got a college girl pregnant.
If there was any one thing Ben regretted most about the past, it was returning Marilyn’s letter unopened. It hurt him almost to the point of being physically ill to think about her alone and pregnant, believing he didn’t care. The truth of the matter was that he’d loved her deeply. It had taken him years to put his love for her behind him.
She’d done the right thing in marrying this other man, he decided suddenly. Ben wouldn’t have been a good husband for her, or for any woman. He was too stubborn, too set in his own ways. It was easier to comfort himself with those reassurances, he realized, than deal with all the might-have-beens.
The fact was, he’d fathered this child. Except that Bethany wasn’t a child. She was an adult, and a mighty fine one at that. Any man would be proud to call her daughter.
Bethany. Ben would give anything to take back the things he’d said to her. It was the shock. The fear, too, of her wanting something from him when he had nothing to give—emotionally or financially. He couldn’t change the past or make up to Marilyn and Bethany for what he’d done—and hadn’t done.
Ben poured a second cup of coffee in an attempt to clear his head. His temples still throbbed—enough to convince him not to seek solutions in a bottle again.
There was a knock at the front door. He’d forgotten that he’d left it locked. With a definite lack of enthusiasm, he shuffled across the café and unlatched the bolt. To his surprise, he saw it was Mitch.
“She’s gone,” Mitch announced, sounding like a man in a trance.
“Bethany gone? What do you mean, gone?”
“I just saw Christian. Duke flew her out this morning.”
Pain shot through Ben’s chest and he felt the sudden need to sit down. He’d only just found her and now—now he’d lost her.
* * *
The pizza had helped, Bethany decided, but not nearly enough. Sorry that Mariah had decided not to join her, after all, she sat on the big hotel bed in front of the television. She was halfheartedly watching a movie she’d seen before she’d left for Alaska and paying the same price as she had in a California theater.
Earlier in the day, she’d had her hair trimmed, and while she was at it, she’d sprung for a manicure.
Following that, she’d found a shopping mall and lingered for hours, just poking around the shops and watching the people. It didn’t take long, however, for the doubts and regrets to crowd back into her mind.
She’d ruined everything. With Ben feeling the way he did, she wasn’t comfortable returning to Hard Luck, and at the same time she couldn’t leave. Not with everything between her and Mitch still unresolved. If the situation had been different, she could’ve phoned her parents, but of course neither of them knew the real reason she’d accepted the teaching assignment in Alaska. She hadn’t wanted them to know.
What about Chrissie? And Susan and Scott and Ronny… She couldn’t leave her students or break the terms of her contract. She had a moral and legal obligation to the people who’d hired her.The state and the town had entrusted her with these young lives. She couldn’t just walk out.
On the other hand, how could she go back? It was all she could do not to hide her face in her hands and weep. She had no idea what had possessed her to confront Ben with the truth last night. Her timing couldn’t have been worse. The information had come at him with the stealth and suddenness of a bomb, exploding in his life. She hadn’t prepared him in any way to learn she was his daughter.
No wonder he— Her thoughts came to a crashing halt at the loud knock on her door.
“Bethany.”
“Mitch?”
“Please open up.”
She didn’t know how he’d learned where she was staying. She scrambled off the bed and ran to open the door.
He stood on the other side, feet braced, as though he was surprised he hadn’t been forced to kick the door in. He blinked, then blurted, “Don’t leave.”
“Leave?” She followed his gaze to her small suitcase.
“You’ve packed your things.”
True, but only for a short stay in Fairbanks. She wondered where Mitch thought she was going. Then she understood—he assumed she was returning to California.
