Page 122 of Summer Weddings
He stared somewhere above her head, as if the telling of these details was too painful to do face-to-face.
“Lori became depressed. She saw her physician about it, and he explained that post-partum depression is fairly common. He prescribed something to help her feel better. He also gave her tranquilizers. A light dose to take when she had trouble sleeping.”
“Did the medication help?”
“For a while, but then Lori found she couldn’t sleep nights at all. Chrissie suffered from repeated ear infections, and Lori often had to stay awake with her, which added to the problem.”
He frowned. “I don’t know when she started doubling up on the tranquilizers, or even how she was able to get so many of them. I suspect she went to a number of different doctors.”
Bethany held out her hand to him and Mitch gripped it hard between his own. Then he sat on the bed beside her, turning his body toward her. “What’s so tragic about all of this is that over and over again Lori told me how unhappy she was, how miserable. She didn’t like being home. She didn’t like staying with the baby all the time. She wanted me home more often. She clung to me until I felt she was strangling me, and all along she was so terribly sick, so terribly depressed.”
“Did you know she was hooked on the tranquilizers?”
“I suppose I guessed. But I figured she was under a doctor’s care—and I didn’t want to deal with it just then. I couldn’t. I was working day and night on an important case,” he said, his eyes bleak with sorrow. “If she wanted to dope herself up at night with tranquilizers, what could I do? I’d cope with it when I could, but not then.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “You see, I might’ve saved her life had I dealt with the problem immediately, instead of ignoring it and praying she’d snap out of it herself.”
“What happened?” Bethany asked. She intuitively realized there was more to the story, and that it would only grow worse.
“If the signs had been any plainer, they would’ve hit me over the head.”
“It happens every day.”
“I worked with addicts. I should’ve known.”
It was clear that this was one thing Mitch would never forgive himself for.
“She killed herself,” he said in a stark whisper. “Her family thought it was an accident, but I know better. She needed me, but I was too involved in chasing down drug dealers to help my own wife. She was depressed, unhappy and addicted to tranquilizers. I turned my back on her. I might as well have poured the pills down her throat.”
“Oh, Mitch, you were under so much stress. You can’t blame yourself.”
“Yes, I can,” he said, “and I have. I should’ve been able to tell what was happening to her. She paid the penalty for my neglect—with her life. I can understand if you don’t want to marry me…”
“Is that what you’re asking me, Mitch? To be your wife?”
“Yes.” His gaze held hers. “I realize how much Chrissie loves you, but like I told you, it isn’t for my daughter I’m asking. It’s for me.”
The lump in Bethany’s throat refused to dissolve. She nodded and swallowed her tears.
“Is that a yes?” he asked, as if he was afraid of the answer.
She nodded again, more vigorously.
Mitch briefly closed his eyes. “I live a simple life, Bethany. I don’t want to leave Hard Luck.”
“I don’t want to leave, either. My home is wherever you are.”
“You’re sure? Because I don’t think I could let you go. Not now.” He reached for her and kissed her with a hunger and a longing that left her breathless.A long time passed before he released her.
“We’d better stop while I still can,” he told her. “Besides, Ben’s waiting.”
“Ben.” She’d almost forgotten.
“He’s downstairs bragging to the bartender about his daughter,” Mitch said. “Would you like to join him there? I know he wants to talk to you.”
“In a little while,” she whispered and leaned her head against his shoulder. They’d both come to Hard Luck for a purpose. His had been to hide; hers had been to find her biological father. Together they’d discovered something far more precious than the gold that had drawn generations of prospectors to Alaska.
They’d found each other. And together they’d found love.
Epilogue
