Page 112 of Beneath Your Beautiful
“I’m old enough to make my own decisions. I’m absolutely fine.”
Killian leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs, his hands steepled, index fingers pressed against his lips. I glanced at Killian’s face, but it was shuttered.
No. No, no, no. Don’t do this, Killian. Not after everything we’ve been through together.
“Killian. Tell him—”
“Let your dad speak.”
I crossed my arms and slumped against the back cushion, probably looking more like a petulant child than a mature adult.
“I spoke with Killian and he agrees with me,” my dad said. “You need some time to process everything that happened. What you’ve been through was traumatic.”
“It was traumatic for Killian and Connor. I barely got hurt. I feel fine.”
“Having nightmares every night is not fine,” my dad said. “Waking up in a cold sweat is not fine.”
Even though I wanted to deny it, I couldn’t because my dad slept with one eye open. My bad dreams were always the same though. Not the exact same dream. But I always woke up right before Killian died. In a car flying off a cliff. In a fiery explosion. In a war zone, his body riddled with bullets.
“Killian agreed you’d both benefit from counseling,” my dad said.
I stared at Killian, my mouth gaping. “You agreed to counseling.”
“I insisted on it,” my dad said. “Like I said, we talked.” My dad’s gaze swung to Killian and softened. I couldn’t believe this. They’d been going behind my back, chatting like old chums, making plans for me without my consent, and even speaking to Louis on my behalf.
“Fine. We’ll go to counseling.” I had no objection to it and if Killian agreed to speak to a shrink, it might really help him. “So, we’re good, right?”
“No,” my dad said. “We are not good. You’re leaving Brook—”
“No. Absolutely not. My life is here. My friends are here. My job…my art…Killian…everything is here. I’m sorry, Dad, but you can’t make that decision for me. It’s my life, and it’s my decision. The only way for me to get better is to take control of my own life. I’m not helpless or broken, and I’m tired of you guys making me feel like I am.” My dad kept opening his mouth to interrupt, but I kept talking, not letting him. “Did you tell Sawyer he wasn’t allowed to enlist in the Marines? That he wasn’t allowed to re-enlist? No, you didn’t.” I was just getting started, really warming up to my argument. I wasn’t going down without a fight.
“You’re a state trooper, so you know bad stuff happens everywhere. Even in Pennsylvania. I’ve heard your stories about shootings and domestic violence and horrific car crashes. Mom got cancer. You couldn’t prevent that from happening, no matter what you did. And, Killian, if you feel guilty, talk to a shrink about it. Talk to me about it. But don’t you dare throw us away because of what happened. It was not your fault. Dad, don’t make him feel guiltier than he already does. Killian does not need more guilt in his life.” I turned my attention to Killian. “Don’t do this. I love you. You made me promise I wouldn’t let you ruin us. Don’t ruin us. Please—”
“Eden,” Killian said, cutting me off. I opened my mouth to protest. “I was thinking we’d take that trip to Montauk.”
A trip to Montauk?What? “As in…you and me?”
“A vacation,” my dad fumed. “That’s not what we talked about.”
“I love your daughter, and I want what’s best for her. I would never knowingly put her in danger. I would gladly risk my life to save hers. Eden showed me what love is. She’s strong and she’s brave and she stands up for the people she believes in. And, for some crazy reason, she believes in me. She chose me. And I choose her. Always. I’m not leaving her, and I’m not letting her go. I’m a wild card. I know that. I come with a shitload of baggage. I’ve done a lot of things in my life I regret. But loving her isn’t one of them. I can’t promise life will be smooth sailing, but I can promise I’ll do whatever it takes to help her put this behind her. I’ll do the work, and I’ll do it with her at my side. Because life without her is unthinkable. I’m sorry if you think I’m being selfish, but that’s what I need to do. For her. For me. For us. When you love someone, you don’t run away, and you don’t leave them when things get hard or messy or fucked-up. When you love someone, you fight for them. And I will always fight for Eden.”
I stared at Killian the whole time he spoke, making vows and promises. I’d never heard him say so many words at once, and all his words were perfect. They were everything I wanted to hear and more.
“You love me,” I breathed.
“Fiercely. You’re mine and I’m yours, so it looks like you’re stuck with me.”
“I love being stuck with you.” I moved closer and leaned in, about to kiss him.
My dad cleared his throat. Oops, I forgot about him. I dragged my gaze away from Killian and to my dad. “Don’t worry about me, Dad. I’m going to be okay.” And I knew it was true. The only way I wouldn’t be okay was if Killian had let my dad call the shots. Not that I ever had any intention of taking orders from my dad, but if Killian hadn’t been in my corner, he wouldn’t be the right man for me. He wouldn’t be the man I’d come to depend on and believe in. And that would have broken my heart, for real.
My dad shook his head and exhaled. “You don’t know what you put me through, kiddo.”
Considering all the hovering he’d done in the past week, I had some idea, but I kept that to myself. I could see he was struggling, waging his own internal battle, but I also knew he’d concede defeat. And he did. My dad didn’t raise us to be quitters. He didn’t raise us to run away from our problems either. He taught us to stand up for the people and the things we believed in, and that’s what I was doing. I was taking back control of my own life, and I was doing it with Killian at my side.
Chapter Forty-Two
Killian
