Page 18 of Beautiful Lies
“Take a slow, deep breath and relax.”
I waited until he did as I told him, but he still looked nervous as hell. Why should I care? “The first minute is the worst. You’ll get used to it.”
He nodded. “Thanks.”
I started the linework. He winced, but he stayed still so I continued.
I’d hoped we could do this in silence, so I could block out everything and concentrate on the tattoo, not the person sitting in the chair. Or everything this person had come to represent—a fresh start for Ava. She’d been with other guys since me, just like I’d been with other girls, but I’d never met any of the guys she’d hooked up with, and none of them had lasted long. It had been the same for me over the years, and I sometimes wondered why I bothered when I knew that nobody would ever come close to her.
“Ava and I ended it,” Zeke said.
I didn’t react, but I wanted to know if Ava ended it or Zeke ended it. Why should it matter? Just because she wasn’t with Zeke didn’t mean she wanted to be with me.
“She’s still in love with you,” he said.
I finished outlining the design and lifted the tattoo needle from his chest. “Another word about Ava and you’ll need to find a different tattoo artist.”
“Just putting it out there.”
I switched needles and got back to work, shading and coloring. He kept his mouth shut, but the silence didn’t last.
“My older brother Alex taught me how to sail,” he said. “That’s why I went for the compass. It’s symbolic, you know? Trying to find direction in your life … some people have a harder time than others. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just that everyone’s wired differently. Alex had everything. My family is loaded, my parents are good people. We grew up wanting for nothing. He went to Harvard, and maybe the pressure got to him or something. Nobody noticed that he’d developed an opiate addiction. Until he overdosed and ended up in the ER.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Just making conversation.”
Bullshit. “What did Ava tell you?”
“Nothing. She never talked about you.” I believed him. Ava had always kept my dirty secrets to herself. Zeke lowered his voice, so he wasn’t overheard over the buzzing needles and music. “Last year, I found your prescription in the desk drawer. I saw you after you’d been beaten up and I knew that had to hurt like hell. And yet, Ava was keeping your meds under lock and key. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why.”
Anger and shame burned inside me. I hated that Zeke could be so smug, so superior, armed with the knowledge that I needed my ex-girlfriend to monitor my pain medication. “Congratulations. You’re a fucking genius.”
“Hey, I’m not judging you. I get how hard it is. I watched Alex go through hell. He relapsed twice. But he’s in a good place now.”
A good place. That’s what we all strive for, isn’t it?
“So, listen, about the business…” he said a few minutes later. “I talked to Jared earlier…”
“Forget it.”
“I’m on your side. I want to help if I can. Why do you and Killian make it so difficult?”
“Must be the way we’re wired.”
“He came around. Eventually.”
If Zeke had gone for Eden, hell would have frozen over before Killian came around. Of all the girls Zeke could have had, why did he need to go for Ava? Why didshego for him?
I needed to win her back. I would show her that my life was on track and that I’d changed. I wasn’t hell-bent on self-destruction, and I wasn’t running from anything. I was standing my ground and weathering the storm.
This time, I wouldn’t be careless with Ava. Everything could be different. I would find a way to make her fall in love with me all over again.
5
Connor
Eight Years Ago
