Page 72 of Beautiful Lies
“Kiss me.”
“What?”
“Kiss me. Take me back to a better place.”
“Life doesn’t work that way, remember?”
He removed his helmet and I leaned in and wrapped my arms around his neck. “It’s only ever been you, Connor.”
He pressed his forehead against mine, his hands cradling my face. I pulled back to look at his face. After what I’d just told him, I hadn’t expected him to look sad. “Did you hear what I said?”
He gave me a little nod and opened his mouth as if to speak, but no words came out. I searched his face. The yellowish-green bruises reminded me of how his face had been battered a year ago. And his eyes… there was no light in them. I took a few steps back, realization dawning on me. “Where did you see Jake?”
“The Candy Store.”
The Candy Store? What the hell had he been doing there? At a club he used to frequent… a club I knew damn well Danny Vargas hung out at. All my self-preservation instincts kicked into overdrive. “Why were you there?” I watched his face, waiting to catch him in a lie.
He let out a breath and carved his hand through his hair. “I didn’t score. I ordered a drink, but I left it on the bar.” Connor held my gaze and I saw that he was telling the truth. When he used to lie to me, he could never look me in the eye. For someone who used to lie often, he’d never been very good at it.
He pulled on his helmet and the Harley rumbled to life. “See you tonight.”
19
Connor
Ava’s living room glowed pink from the Good Vibes neon sign above her gray sofa. We were eating Chinese food with chopsticks, passing the containers back and forth, not bothering with plates and watchingThe Avengers, although for me it was just background noise.
Listening to her story this morning, about what Jake had done to her had made me nauseous. Furious. Hurt. Angry. Sad. I couldn’t help wondering why she’d never trusted me enough to tell me the truth. I would have understood her so much better if she had. I’d tried to be there for her, but at fourteen, what the hell did I know about girls and the way they operated? Not a damn thing. I just remember thinking that she was fragile and that I needed to tread lightly. I’d always wanted to protect her, to show her that not every guy was a scumbag like Jake, but I hadn’t known the half of it.
“Are you done?” I asked, jerking my chin at the food containers.
She nodded and stood up from the sofa, reaching for the containers. “I’ve got it,” I said. Ava sat down and tucked her legs underneath her. I cleared the containers and dumped the empties in the trash, stowing the leftover Lo Mein in the fridge. Fucking Jake Masters. I slammed the fridge door shut and pinched the bridge of my nose, taking deep breaths to try and calm the fuck down. It didn’t work. I kicked the cupboard below her sink. Once. Twice. Three times for good measure.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. How could anyone do that shit to a fourteen-year-old girl?
I felt her hands on my back and then her arms wrapped around my waist, her cheek pressed against my back. I scrubbed both hands over my face.
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” I asked, dropping all pretense of being calm.
“I just wanted to forget.”
Yeah, I understood that. I’d tried to do the same thing so many times in my life. But the truth always had a way of coming out. I unclasped her hands and pulled her around to face me. “You wouldn’t have had to go through it alone. If you’d told me—”
“We werefourteen. I couldn’t even bring myself to say the words. And you’re a guy. I was too embarrassed.”
“You’ve had ten years to tell me. Instead, I had to find out from that scumbag.”
“You wouldn’t let me give you a blowjob tonight.”
As soon as I’d walked in the door, she’d unbuttoned my jeans and knelt in front of me. Like she had something to prove. It had felt so wrong. “I don’t want you on your knees for me.”
She shook her head in frustration like I wasn’t getting it. “It’s my choice. I wanted to do it. If you give a bully the power, they’ve won. You, of all people, should understand that.”
Ava was right. After a lifetime of being bullied, I should have grasped that concept sooner. I watched her pull off her sweatshirt, exposing a sheer white tank top, her red bra visible underneath. She pushed down her black leggings, stepping out of one leg and then the other before kicking them aside. Her tank top joined the other clothes on the floor and now she was standing in front of me in nothing but a lacy red bra and matching underwear. She’d worn them for me.
“In the diner,” she said. “What I wanted to tell you is that none of the other guys ever mattered. Nobody ever came close to you. And Jake doesn’t matter either. I’ve put it behind me.”
I wrapped my arms around her and felt her soft, warm skin under my hands. The rise and fall of her chest against mine. I was conscious that I was holding something precious in my arms. Something irreplaceable. And I was reminded, once again, how tiny Ava was. But she was fierce and strong and brave, too.
