Page 23 of Sweet Chaos
I didn’t know what I was. “I just want to go home.”
“I’ll give you a ride.” I nodded and trudged across the sand, weary and defeated, while he strode ahead and left me trailing behind. As I passed Ollie, I looked over at him. He was still making out with the blonde, but his eyes were on me. I’d hurt him, and now he wanted to return the favor.
Nic joined me and we trailed Dylan to his car. “I’ve got you, babe. We’ll go home and eat ice cream and watch 80s movies.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and squeezed. I gave her a grateful smile as she sang the chorus of “Don’t You (Forget About Me)”, her fist raised like Judd Nelson fromThe Breakfast Club.
“Sounds perfect.”
The ride to our apartment was silent. My happy bubble had burst, the mood ruined by that kiss and the aftermath. I expected Dylan to just drop us off, but he cut the engine, got out of the car and opened the hatch. “Got something for you.”
Nic and I exchanged a curious glance and met Dylan at the back of his G-Wagen. I stared at the brown boxes, trying to make sense of it. “What is all this?”
“Your birthday present.” He carved a hand through his hair and looked like he regretted this grand gesture, but knew he was screwed. It was too late to take it back now.
“My birthday present?” I repeated.He bought me a birthday present?
All three of us carried the boxes upstairs to our second-floor apartment and Dylan had to go back for a second trip. The boxes were big, and heavy and crowded our living room. Our two-bedroom apartment was small, but still, this seemed excessive. I hadn’t expected anything from him, and I’d even convinced myself that he wouldn’t come to my party, much less come bearing gifts. Nic looked like she was bursting at the seams, desperate to rip into the boxes and see what was inside.
Dylan dropped the last two boxes to the floor and pushed them against the wall then straightened up and crooked his finger at me as he headed for the front door. Like I was his beck and call girl. Like a fool, I followed him outside and leaned against the brown stucco. He caged me in his arms, a hand planted on either side of my head, and I watched him from underneath my lashes. Those turbulent blue-grays were the only thing that gave away his emotions. Dylan had this intensity about him, like he was a ticking bomb only seconds away from detonating and he had to use all his restraint to keep it contained.
It should scare me, but it didn’t.
“Are you in love with Shaggy Doo?”
“Shaggy Doo? His name is Ollie. And no, I’m not. But he’s my friend and I care about him,” I admitted. “I hate it that I hurt him.”
His fingers curved under my chin and he brushed his thumb over my jaw. “That’s you, isn’t it, Starlet? Why are you so good?” As if he truly believed I was good, even though I knew I wasn’t the good girl he seemed to think I was. “You hate to hurt anyone, don’t you?”
“And yet I do it all the time.” I averted my gaze. I wanted some answers. “Why did you kiss me, Dylan?”
“Why did you let me kiss you?”
Perhaps that was the better question. “Because… I wasn’t thinking straight.” I swallowed as he wrapped a lock of my hair around his fingers and gently tugged on it. “What game are you playing?”
“I don’t play games. I’m not a boy,” he scoffed. He wanted to make it clear that he was nothing like Ollie. They didn’t even know each other but the animosity was still there.
“Then what is this? What about Sienna?”
He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “What about her? We’ve been over for a long time.”
“It’s still wrong.”
“Then why does it feel so fucking right?”
I had no answer for that because it did feel right. Not right, exactly. It felt good though. But lust always felt good in the moment, didn’t it?
“You belonged to her first.”
“I’ve never belonged to anyone.”
And he probably never would. “But you can’t deny that you once loved her.”
I wasn’t expecting a response. Dylan had a habit of not answering questions he didn’t like. So it surprised me when he did answer, and so honestly.
“There was love for a while. And other things. Mostly other things. Sienna and I were fundamentally wrong for each other in every way. We liked the idea of each other but I’m not sure we actually liked each other that much. By the time it ended, there was nothing good left to hang onto.”
I searched his face to see if that made him sad, if she had left him heartbroken. But his expression was neutral, and I wasn’t getting any sad vibes off him.
I wanted to ask him if he liked me. If he thought we were right for each other. But that would be pushing it. We barely knew each other, although in some ways I felt like I knew him and understood him better than he could ever know. Our backgrounds were vastly different. I grew up privileged, wanting for nothing. But I knew how it felt to be told you weren’t good enough. And I knew how it felt to be betrayed by Sienna.
