Page 43 of Sweet Chaos

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“Forget it. I have my answer.” He ran his hand through his sweaty hair and shook his head in disbelief. “You’ve made your choice. Hope you know what you’re doing.”

I grabbed his arm to stop him from walking away. “What do you mean?”

“You want me to spell it out for you?” He laughed harshly. “I can’t be your friend, Scarlett. I tried but I just can’t do it.”

I stared blankly, not sure I’d heard him right. “But… what are you talking about? You can’t mean that.”

“It kills me to see you with him,” he said, his voice strained.

“Ollie. Don’t do this,” I pleaded. “Please. We can… I can… we’ll figure this out.” I scrambled to find the words that would turn this around but there were none. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“I lost you a long time ago. You’ll live,” he spat out.

My heart squeezed in anguish at the realization that this was really it. Ollie and I were going to end fourteen years of friendship in a dark corner of a dive bar. “Ollie, please. Let’s just—”

“Let’s just what?” he seethed. “Let me put this in perspective for you. Give you something you can understand. I’ve been in love with you for as long as you’ve been in love withhim. You broke my fucking heart, Scarlett.Everyoneknew I was in love with you. Everyone except you.”

“I’m sorry.” My words came out in a broken whisper. Ollie was beautiful, he really was. Talented. Funny. With a big heart. He would do anything for a friend. Any girl would be so lucky to have him. Falling in love with him should have been so easy. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Yeah, well, from where I’m sitting, you’d never know it.”

This time when he walked away, I didn’t chase after him. There was nothing I could say or do to make this better. Blindly pushing through the crowd, my vision blurred by tears, I stumbled out of the front door and leaned against the brick wall for support. I took a shuddering breath, my heart in my throat.

How could I have been so cruel? So careless with my best friend’s feelings?

Not once, but twice I’d thrown it in his face. If I were Ollie, I would hate me too.

I heard the door open and the music spilled out then it was muffled by the door closing. Dylan came to stand in front of me, his eyes flitting over my face, trying to read it. Shouldn’t be hard. I swiped at the tears on my cheeks, angry at myself and angry at him.

“Happy now? Ollie’s out of the picture.”

Dylan leaned down so he was eye level with me. “You think it makes me happy to see you sad?”

My shoulders sagged, the weight of what I’d done pressing down on me. “How could I have done this to him? How could I be so horrible?”

“You’re not horrible.”

“Why did you insist on coming tonight?” The real question was, why had I let him? I should have put a stop to it. Should have told him no. Or at the very least, I should have kept my hands off him. That was the trouble with being with Dylan. Whenever I was around him, I couldn’t think straight and made bad decisions.

I’d destroyed a friendship. What else would I destroy for Dylan?

* * *

Five minutes later, Dylan pulled into the 7-Eleven and cut the engine.

“What are we doing here?”

“I’ll leave the keys in the ignition, so you can listen to music.” He gave my thigh a gentle squeeze, trying to reassure me that everything would be okay. “Be right back.”

The door slammed behind him and I watched him walk into the store and head down one of the aisles like a man on a mission while The Neighbourhood’s “Sweater Weather” played from his Bluetooth speakers in the car.

I slumped in my seat and took out my phone to text Nic but I wasn’t ready to discuss what happened with Ollie yet and I knew she’d pump me for details, so I tucked my phone back in my pocket and closed my eyes. All I could see was Ollie’s face. Ollie had been my first, my only one. Even that was tied to Dylan in a roundabout way, thanks to a conversation we had when I was fifteen.

“Anyone ever fucks with you, you call me, understand?”

“Yeah, sure. But I’ve never been fucked with or fucked.”

“Keep it that way.”