Page 51 of When the Stars Fall
He drove with one hand on the wheel, the other one tapping out the beat of “Smack That” by Akon that was blasting from his speakers and even though it was hotter than Hades outside, his windows were rolled down and he refused to turn on the A/C. He always said he preferred to sweat than breathe artificial air. Brody couldn’t bear to be cooped up and he even had trouble being in a car with the windows rolled up.
“You missed the turn,” I said as he kept going straight down the two-lane highway instead of turning right. He ignored me and I leaned back in my seat, side-eying him.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s my turn to buy.”
“Buy what?”
“Tacos.”
“You’re taking me for tacos? What do you mean it’s your turn to buy? I never bought you tacos.”
He just laughed and ran his fingers through his longish dirty-blond hair. “How did the rodeo go?” I asked because if he was taking me for tacos for lunch, I certainly wouldn’t argue with that.
“I’m the best bareback bronc rider in all of Texas, that’s how it went.”
I snorted. “Your head’s so big I’m surprised it fits in that ten-gallon hat of yours.”
“I upgraded to the twenty-gallon,” he joked, and all I could do was laugh. I’d never actually seen him in a cowboy hat.
Why was it so much easier to hang out with Brody these days? I sighed loudly, the sound drowned out by his music.
When he pulled into the roadside barbecue, my eyes widened. Oh no. No, no, no.
“Take me home. I don’t want tacos.”
Judging by the look on Jude’s face, he didn’t look thrilled to see me either. His eyes narrowed to slits and he crossed his arms over his chest, clearly unhappy with this whole scenario. He was leaning against his truck waiting for Brody but instead he’d gotten me too.
Brody had tricked us.
“You’re not gonna back down now, are you?” Brody asked, and I heard the challenge in his voice. His question was aimed at me but it was loud enough for Jude to hear. Which meant that neither of us were going to back down now. We’d eat tacos together if it killed us. We’d eat tacos together even if they were laced with arsenic.
Jude was the lion and I was the bull. I’d figured it out last night. Leo and Taurus. Those were the constellations he’d put on my bedroom ceiling. It was us and I couldn’t figure out why he’d done it.
One time during one of our random late-night conversations I’d asked him, “Who would win a fight if a lion was pitted against a bull?” I’d fully expected him to say that a lion would always win because, among other things, he had a superiority complex and really did think he was king of the jungle.
But he’d surprised me by saying, “Depends on the circumstances. If it was a fighting bull and they were in an enclosed space, the bull would win. It would spear the lion with its horns. If they were out in the open, a lion’s natural habitat, the lion would win. Lions have more grace, speed, and agility.”
Who would win if a bull and a lion sat down at a picnic table outside a roadside barbecue to eat brisket tacos with pico de gallo? Nobody would win. Because lions only fought when they had something to fight for. And Jude was done fighting for me.
But after we carried our order outside and sat across from each other at the picnic table under the shade of the trees with Brody next to me, Jude bumped the tip of his sneaker against the tip of mine under the table. I thought it was accidental but I kept my foot where it was and when he didn’t move his foot away I wondered if it meant something.
I looked up from my taco and met his eyes. Those blue, blue eyes like the wildflowers in the field. Our eyes locked and held and all the air whooshed out of my lungs when he reached across the table and cupped my chin in his hand, brushing his thumb across my jaw. “You’re the messiest eater.”
“I know,” I said, my voice barely a whisper because even though he’d removed his hand and he wasn’t touching me anymore, I could still feel it. And I’d heard something in his voice that was almost gentle and turned me into a pile of goo.
“About fucking time,” Brody said. “Can we all be friends again? I’m getting tired as fuck of playing monkey in the middle of you two dumb shits.”
My gaze swung to Brody then back to Jude. “I’ve missed us,” I said, making myself vulnerable and being way too honest.
But that was the true definition of bravery. It wasn’t about who could scale a wall or swing across a creek filled with crocodiles.
Being brave meant being honest and owning up to the things you’d done to hurt people. It was what my mom had tried to tell me but I’d completely missed the message. Until right this minute. And now I saw it all with such blinding clarity that I had no idea how I’d been so blind.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, praying he’d accept my apology. Because here I was, a girl offering up her own truth and begging him to cut her some slack. Like, please, take this heart I’m offering you in my own two hands. Be gentle with it. Don’t break it.
Would I do the same for him if the situation was reversed? I didn’t know.
