Page 94 of When the Stars Fall
“Okay,” she said slowly, never taking her eyes off my face. “I have to deliver and set up for that silver anniversary party. After that, I have a consultation at Sadler’s Creek. Will you be okay until I get back?”
“Go. I’m fine.” She gave me a skeptical look. “Really. Now that the initial shock has worn off, I’m good.” I flashed her a smile just to prove it. She didn’t look convinced but there were flowers to be delivered and a business to run. That had to take precedence over my fucked-up love life. Or lack thereof, as the case might be.
We loaded the refrigerated delivery truck then I waved her off and gathered the blooms I’d need, carrying the buckets of flowers and foliage to one of the two zinc-topped islands where we made our arrangements.
I got to work, prepping the stems, removing the thorns and the leaves at the bottom. For the next few hours, I got lost in a sea of peonies, ranunculus, and garden roses. The velvety frosted sage green leaves of the dusty miller and the silver dollar eucalyptus complemented the blush pink, coral, and cream petals. While I worked, I checked out my creations from all angles in the full-length mirror across from me.
Like all weddings, this one would be beautiful.
When I finished the centerpieces and bouquets, I moved them from the workspace to the walk-in where they’d stay hydrated and fresh until tomorrow morning when I delivered them.
“Are you happy, Lila?”
At the sound of his voice, I spun around, my hand over my heart. “Oh God, you scared me.”
How long had he been there watching me?
He was standing in the doorway in a white T-shirt and faded denim, looking like my every fantasy. Handsome didn’t even begin to describe Jude McCallister. As a teen and in his early twenties, he’d been a hot guy. But now, he was all man. Rugged and masculine and just so beautiful, I couldn’t tear my eyes away. After Jude left, I’d imagined this moment so many times. How would it feel if he ever came back? Until one day I told myself to get used to the idea that he was never coming back.
“Are you happy?” he repeated, prowling toward me like a hunter stalking its prey. Graceful, powerful, unhurried. Yet his long legs ate up the distance between us in no time at all. Now he was standing right in front of me and I wasn’t ready to be this close to him.
Are you happy? Under the circumstances, it was a strange question.
“That’s what you want to know? If I say yes, will it ease your conscience?” I moved away from him and wiped down the workspace to keep my hands busy and my focus on anything but him. It was hard to do though. Whenever he was in my vicinity, he wasallI could see.
“How’syourconscience?” he asked, the accusation in his voice loud and clear. “Troubling you?”
Guess we were doing this, after all. Never one to back down, I lifted my chin and met his eyes. They narrowed on me. The anger swirling in the blue depths fueled my own. “You did the one thing you promised me you never would. You left me.”
The muscle in his jaw ticked. Tiny. Imperceptible. But I saw it. “So you thought you’d get back at me by fucking my cousin?”
He said that as if it was an act of revenge. “You weren’t here. You didn’t want me anymore. You tossed me aside like I meant nothing to you.”
He stared at me, unblinking, like he couldn’t believe what I’d just said. His jaw clenched and I could tell he was working hard to keep his emotions reined in. “That’s not fair and you damn well know it.”
I knew it wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t what I’d planned on saying but the way he’d left me wasn’t fair either. “Life isn’t fair, Jude.”
“I thought I knew you. I thought I knew your hard limits. And I thought that fucking my cousin was one of them. Brody’s slept with every skank in a skirt. Did he give you an STD to go with that baby he put inside you?”
Every skank in a skirt. Well, thanks for that, Jude. “You know nothing about what happened between me and Brody.”
“I know enough. He got you knocked up. And why do you think that is, Lila? How is it that he slept with so many girls yet he’d never gotten a single one of them pregnant? Until you. You ever stop and think on that? Maybe he did it on purpose.”
I laughed. It wasn’t even remotely funny but what else could I do? He was so far off base in his assumptions that it was laughable. “You’re ridiculous. It was an accident.”
“Keep telling yourself that, baby mama. How long did you wait after I left? Or wait... were you fucking him the whole time? Were you fucking him behind my back while I was in Afghanistan?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You know I never cheated on you.”
“And I’m supposed to believe you. That’s funny.”
“I never lied to you.” I looked him straight in the eye and took a deep breath, gathering all my courage. “You left me. With only a goodbye letter. I always thought you faced all your fears, turns out you run from them.”
“Don’t turn this around on me. Youfuckedmy cousin. Maybe he was the one you wanted all along. Or maybe you just fucked every guy in town after I left.”
“How dare you!” My blood was boiling. He still pushed my buttons. Besides, I’d rather get angry and argue than deal with the heartache and misery. Anger was so much easier. The cut was cleaner. Sharper.
“You were my girl, Lila.Mine. I never thought you’d betray me like that.”
