Page 106 of When the Storm Breaks
Fuck that. I couldn’t even begin to help her understand. I couldn’t even look at her face, not wanting to see her hurt and disappointment.
I climbed into the car and slammed the door shut. Then I took off and left her standing there.
I drove as fast as I could, trying to outrun my memories. Windows rolled down, music blasting, I tried to drown out the noise in my head. Too bad it didn’t work.
* * *
It was almostmidnight when I let myself into the room. Shiloh was sitting on the balcony, silhouetted in the moonlight, a glass of wine in her hand. I stood in the open French doors and stared at the moonlit sea.
“Where did you go?”
“Doesn’t matter.” I raked a hand through my hair. “I was just driving.”
“For eight hours?”
I moved around her and leaned against the banister facing her. Even in the moonlight, I could see that she’d been crying. “Why have you been crying?”
She sniffed and wiped away the tears with the palm of her hand. “I’ve been crying for you.”
“For me? Why would you cry for me?”
She shook her head a little, not willing to tell me why. “What happened?”
I cleared my throat. I couldn’t tell her the truth. I didn’t want her to look at me differently. But I owed her something. “I’m not homophobic.”
She nodded. “I know you’re not. Otherwise, I could never be with you. I just wanted us to enjoy our time together. I should have never brought you here. It would have been better if it had only been the two of us, spending time alone.”
“That’s not how real life works. And none of this is your fault. You had this trip planned before you ever met me. I didn’t mean to fuck everything up for you.” Fuck, it was the last thing I’d wanted.
“You hate this life, don’t you?” Her voice sounded so small and so sad.
“No. I don’t hate it.”
She laughed. “Sure you don’t. We’re so different here. I want things to be the way they were ...”
“That’s not how it works.”
“I know. I guess I’m greedy. I want my cake and I want to eat it too.”
“And I want you to have your cake with whipped cream and a fucking cherry on top. Shy, I don’t want to screw everything up for you. I want you to have everything you’ve ever wanted.”
“Does that mean I can have you too?”
“You still want me? Even after the stunt I pulled today?”
“You think I’m going to stop wanting you just because you drove away and left me for a while? That’s not how it works.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Why did you beat up Kevin?”
His name was Kevin. Fucker. “He grabbed my ass.” I shrugged one shoulder like it was no big deal. “Caught me by surprise. Guess I overreacted.”
“No, you didn’t. Nobody should have their ass groped by a random stranger. You felt violated.”
“Is that how it felt for you that night when you were sixteen?”
