Page 114 of When the Storm Breaks
“Now you’re saying our music is no good?”
“It’s good. You know it is. But music took a backseat to all the other shit. You were chasing after the fame and money. I’m not going to record this duet with Dean. And when we’re on tour, I’m going to keep my distance. I don’t want to get sucked into that world again.”
“You’re blowing everything out of proportion. Just like you always did.”
I gritted my teeth. “For once, I wish you would put me first. I wish you would have stood up for me and fought for me. But you never did. You always took Dean’s side. And it took me a long time to figure out that I have to fight for myself because nobody else is going to do it for me. I love you, I really do, but I hate the things you do and the way you make me feel like I owe you. So I think it’s better if we don’t talk for a while.”
“Shiloh… Jesus Christ. Where is all this coming from? You were fine yesterday.”
“I’ve had some time to think about things. And I hate how much success has changed you, Landry.”
He barked out a laugh. “Are you shitting me? You’re the one who changed. You’re the one who got all high and mighty and started acting like we weren’t good enough for you anymore. Why do you think Dean fucked around? You made him feel like he was never good enough.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and took a few deep breaths, trying to center myself. I’d spoken about all this with my therapist after I left Dean and she’d given me good advice, but I hadn’t wanted to hear it at the time. I hadn’t wanted to face the fact that my own brother was trying to sabotage me. To bring me down to a level where he could control me like he did when we were kids and I followed him wherever he went, always believing he knew best.
Instead of arguing with him, I said goodbye and I hung up. Then I sent a quick text to Dean and told him he could do whatever he wanted with the song, but I wasn’t going to sing it with him.
My eyes drifted shut and I leaned my head against the sofa cushion, a crushing weight on my heart.
The cushion dipped under his weight and he pulled me into his arms and stroked my hair. I hadn’t even heard him come in.
“How much did you hear?”
“Enough.”
We were quiet for a while and he kept stroking my hair, his touch so soothing it made the tears well up in my eyes and my heart ache.
“I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to record the duet. I’m sorry I put you through that. I’m sorry I ever—”
“Stop beating yourself up.”
I forced a laugh. “You’re singing a new tune.”
“Nah. I got my feelings hurt. I was jealous and angry and yeah, worried that you’d rather be with the douche.”
I pulled back to see his face. “He’s not half the man you are. After being with you, how could I ever go back to the life I had before?”
“I can’t be with you the whole time. But I’ll try to arrange my schedule so I can see you as much as possible. A few days at a time…” He shrugged one shoulder. “Better than nothing, right?”
“It’s everything. And so are you. I wasn’t thinking straight, Brody. I … God, how could I have ever agreed to that?”
“Easy. The people you love and care about don’t always have your best interests at heart. And it’s hard to accept that. You don’t want to believe it so you make excuses for them. Try to justify it.”
“He’s my only family and I just feel so betrayed, you know?”
“I know. But you’ve got me now. And the McCallisters. Like it or not, they’re not gonna let you go. They’re big on family and already consider you a part of it.”
I could barely see him through the blur of tears. “I’m so lucky I found you.”
“Damn straight. And don’t you forget it, baby.”
I smiled through my tears.
“Next time, talk to me first.”
“There won’t be a next time. But I will. I promise. Why isn’t love ever easy?”
“In my experience, love has never been easy. It’s messy and complicated. Like people. Like life. Nothing worth having ever comes easy. You have to fight for the things that matter.”
