Page 65 of When We Were Reckless
Find a way to make Mom and Dadstop fightinglove each other again.
Ride on the back of J.J.’s motorcycle (keep it a secret so Mom doesn’t worry).
Find a new BFF. Someone fun and nice who doesn’t make fun of me and talk about me behind my back like Lexie does. I don’t even care that she didn’t invite me to her sleepover party. I don’t even care that she gave Mia a friendship bracelet and not me. Someday I’ll have a BFF who thinks I’m cool.Don’t be a sheep. BE YOU.
I read that note a couple more times. Back then, in fourth grade, losing my so-called best friends felt like the end of the world. Lexie and Mia had gone on to become the ‘popular, cool girls’ while I’d continued being the biggest nerd on the block. I’d cried so hard over losing them. But two years later, Evie had come along and shown me what it was like to have a true friend.
I popped it back in the jar and chose a lilac one.
Write a book with lots of kissing and sexing. DO RESEARCH.
Be J.J. 's queen and live happily ever after in our enchanted kingdom AKA Narnia (make sure there’s a good motocross track!!!).
Ten years later, and I still wanted most of the same things. What a joke. Laughing at myself, I unfolded a piece of paper that looked like it had been ripped out of a spiral notebook and folded into a football.
Smoothing out the wrinkles with my hand, I read the note I’d written.
Dear J.J. (that’s what I call you, so my brothers don’t know it’s you. They tease me all the time and I hate it. Sometimes I call you racer boy too but only in my head),
Why did you kiss that girl in my pool? Do you think she’s pretty? I heard Declan say she’s hot. He said something about eating a pussy. Is that her nickname? She doesn’t even look like a kitten. And why would you want to EAT a cat???!!! SO gross.
I heard her talking to her friend too. You were swimming. (It was a race, and Holden won) She kept saying the word S-E-X. She said YOU are hot. Are you sweaty? It’s not that hot today. And the water is cool.
I know what sex is. I asked my mom about it. Are you going to have a baby???? Are you going to MARRY her???
If you do, I will cry forever and ever.
I love you with all my heart. Why do I have to be 8 years old? It’s not fair. I HATE being treated like a dumb kid.
Love forever and ever,
Your Sunshine Girl
P.S. I made you a new friendship bracelet. It’s orange. Your favorite color. And yellow. My favorite color.
P.S.S. You kissed her AGAIN!!! I’m throwing this letter in the trash. Stupid Kitten. I hope she chokes on a furball.
Oh my God. Could I get any more embarrassing?
I covered my face with my hands. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cringe. Thank God I hadn’t given him that note. Just thinking about what his reaction would have been made me laugh.
In the midst of my laughter, my door flew open, and a bikini-clad blonde stumbled in. “Oops.” She giggled and then hiccupped. “I thought this was the bathroom.”
I rolled my eyes. “There’s one at the end of the hall.”
No sooner were the words out when Thor appeared in my doorway and tossed the girl over his shoulder. Then, grinning at me, he spun around and charged out of my bedroom, the girl over his shoulder shrieking with laughter. “I’m going to throw up.”
If she threw up, I sure as hell wasn’t going to clean it up.
Just as I’d suspected, living with Declan was already a nightmare, and it had only been three days. Scooping up all the folded papers on my bed, I returned them to the jar and set it on my bedside table.
I crossed the room and flung open my window. Resting my forearms on the windowsill, I watched the pool party. The scent of weed drifted up in the heavy, muggy air, and I inhaled deeply.
It was sweeter than cigarette smoke. Not unpleasant.
When Declan was in high school, he’d been the biggest pothead. At twenty-four, I guess that hadn’t changed.
When I’d spoken to Mom on the phone yesterday, I bemoaned the fact that Declan had moved back home. “It will be a good time for you two to bond,” she’d said. “You used to be so close.”
