Page 68 of When We Were Reckless
A little while later, he said, “You got any chocolate? Or Doritos? Damn. I love me some of them spicy hot chili ones.”
“Cool Ranch is the only way to go. We should go get some.”
“Yeah, we should.”
Neither of us made a move to get up. We stayed where we were, too lazy to move. Thor made a great pillow. I was lying on my back now, resting my head on his chest while I stared at the sky. So many stars tonight.
What was the meaning of it all? Why were we even here? Maybe I’d just hang out here for a while and contemplate life and “The Big Lebowski.”
“‘The Dude abides,’” I said.
“Hell yeah, he does.” Then, after a beat, he asked, “What does abide mean?”
My brow furrowed, and I tried to come up with the correct answer but drew a blank. “I don’t know. That movie doesn’t make sense. Neither does life. It’s complicated, you know?”
“Life?”
“Yeah, life. Have you ever been in love, Thor?”
“Love.” He stroked his beard, contemplating my question. “That’s some heavy shit, little sister. Love really fucks you up, you know? It's like…” He exhaled a heavy breath. “Damn. Love is deep.”
I snuggled up against Thor, and he draped his tree-trunk-sized arm across my middle while we contemplated life and love and dicks that operated like jackhammers. I couldn’t stop thinking about that jackhammer.
“The fuck do you think you’re doing?”
My head jerked up, and I tried to bring him into focus, but his face was blurry. Didn’t matter if I could see him clearly. I’d know his voice anywhere. “Jesse? What are you doing here?”
He glared at Thor, who removed his arm that had been around me. I sat up and ran my fingers through the tangles of my hair as Thor got to his feet and held up his hands, weaving a little on his feet before he draped his tree-trunk-sized arm around my shoulders. “Just looking after Dec’s little sister.”
“Stay the fuck away from Dec’s little sister.”
I burst out laughing at Jesse’s words and his tone of voice. “Stay the fuck away from Dec’s little sister,” I mimicked, my voice low and gruff. “Oh my God. You’re ridiculous, Jesse James.”
I love you so much, you big idiot.
And that was actually his name. Jesse James McCallister. Like the outlaw Jesse James. Except that he wasn’t named after the outlaw. James was his grandfather. Why did I even know that? Because I knew everything about Jesse, that’s why.
“I’m going to find some Doritos,” Thor mumbled.
When he had wandered away, headed back to the party or in search of junk food, Jesse’s gaze swung to me, and he planted his hands on his hips. “You texted me. Three times.” It sounded like an accusation. One I wasn’t even guilty of.
I waved my hand through the air. “No, I most certainly did not, Duderino.” Duderino. That was so funny it made me laugh again.
He grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet. I swayed before him, and he wrapped his hands around my upper arms to steady me, his eyes peering into mine. “Jesus Christ. You’re high. He fucking got you high?”
I started laughing again. I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t stop. This was the most fun I’d had in forever.
“I got myself high. So high I can fly, baby. Like Icarus with his wax wings, flying too close to the sun.” Pulling out of his grasp, I flung my arms in the air and danced in front of him. “Do you wanna dance with me, Jesse? Do you wanna fly with me? I’ll take you for a ride you’ll never forget.”
One minute, I was swaying my hips and dancing for my sweet baby Jesse and the next minute, I was on the ground, lying in a heap at his feet.
Wow. How had that happened?
I rolled onto my back and closed my eyes. I just needed some rest. A little nap.
Oh God, I shouldn’t have closed my eyes. Everything was spinning now, and I let out a little whimper. This ride wasn’t so fun anymore.
“Get me off this Tilt-A-Whirl,” I muttered.
