The last thing I remember was seeing the flames leaping from the hood of the car.
The sound of metal creaking and twisting and Noah’s voice. “I’m going to get you out of here. We’re going to be okay. But I need you to help me, Hales.”
He kept pulling and yanking, trying to free me from the wreckage but I must have passed out from the pain.
I was no help at all, but he did it. He rescued me and he carried my limp body in his arms up that steep hill when he was only sixteen years old.
He always downplayed his heroic actions. He never thought he deserved to be called a hero and got angry anytime someone called him one.
Noah wasn’t injured and he didn’t have a concussion like I did. He was the only one who knew what really happened.
So he lied. To the cops. To his family. To the journalists who wanted the whole story. And to me.
He. Lied.
And in all this time, Noah has never, not once, pointed the finger of blame at me for causing the accident.
That was when it all began though. The lies. The risky behavior. The booze he drank and the weed he smoked to quiet the voices in his head.
Noah never used to be a liar but now he is.
Because Noah loves me. And there isnothinghe wouldn’t do for me.
He has loved me at my best. He has loved me at my worst.
Noah has loved and protected me for my entire life and it’s all so clear now. I know what I need to do.
Tomorrow is the six-year anniversary of the night he saved my life.
And now it’s my turn to save him.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Noah
I always dread this day.Hayley and I have spent it together every year. As friends, as lovers, and everything in between. Right now I don’t know what we are, but it doesn’t matter. If I don’t show up today, even with the current state we’re in, I know she would be hurt.
So I’m on my way to Malibu.
The sun is burning through the clouds as I follow the coast. Windows down in the Jeep and the salty breeze blowing through with Hayley’s music pouring from the speakers.
I crank up the volume when my favorite song starts playing.
“Sunday Mornings in Cabo” is one of those songs you want to listen to while you’re watching the sunset over the Pacific Ocean with someone you love and you’re thinking how good life is and how happy you are just to be alive and in that moment.
I’ve had a lot of those moments in my life. Moments that I wanted to capture and hold on to when the skies turn gray, and the clouds roll in.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to those moments and relive them. When Hales and I were good, and all was right with the world. But while memories are great to have, that’s all they are. Moments of your life that you left in the rearview mirror. You can’t go back there. Life doesn’t work that way. You just have to keep moving forward.
So I’m trying my damnedest not to dwell on what could have been or worry about where our life is headed.
Today isn’t really about us anyway.
We have our own little ritual. A tradition, I guess.
I pull up to the gate in front of her house—a midcentury that sits on a bluff overlooking the Pacific and the jagged cliffs of the coastline. Very cool with those retro vibes Hales loves.
I look straight into the camera so she can see my face and wait for her to buzz me in. Five long minutes pass and nothing happens so I key in the code she gave me back in December and the gates open. She should really change her code.