Page 147 of When the Stars Rise
“Lunatics. I can’t even look down without losing my lunch.”
I’mone of those guys.
I look up at the sky again and it’s suddenly so blatantly obvious—Zeke never intended to do all those things on his bucket list.
It wasn’t a life wish at all, was it, Zeke?
“You think you can do all the things on my list, McCallister?Or are you gonna chicken out?”
“I wanna go down in a blaze of glory, baby.That’s why we need to capture all this on video. It’s our legacy. It shows the world, I was here, and I left my mark.”
“Nah. Not scared of dying, man. Death is easy. Living is hard.”
“We’re two of a kind, dude. When I look at you, it’s like looking in the mirror. We’re just two fucked-up lost souls, aren’t we?”
Why was living so hard for you, Zeke? I’ll never really know. He took all the answers with him and left behind a bucket list that I’ve been trying to fulfill ever since. I did it because I loved the rush, sure, but it went deeper than that. I think Zeke knew there was a lot more lurking beneath my easygoing façade.
But I don’t need to jump off this boulder to prove anything to myself. I know I could if I wanted to, but I don’t have that same burning need.
I feel more at peace than I have in a long time. I’ve spent the past six years trying to outrun my demons, but I’m done running now.
Not to say that I’m miraculously better but I’m committed to working through all my shit.
I still have an appetite for risk, and I doubt that will ever change but something inside me has shifted. I don’t need to hurl myself off this mountain to get a rush. There are other, more useful things I can do.
Jude’s words come back to me. After I rescued Carey from that bridge, Jude said that if I got tired of being a YouTuber, he had a job waiting for me.
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a hero,” Jude said. “But why not use your skills to help others? We can always use good men on our team. Think about it.”
At the time, I dismissed the idea. I didn’t think disaster relief work was for me.
But the more I think about it, the more certain I am that it’s what I’m meant to do next.
“What the fuck is taking you so long?” Bodhi yells.
I turn and look up. They’re all standing on the plateau, but I only have eyes for the little brunette with dimples and hazel eyes and a smile so bright it eclipses the sun.
“How long have you been there?”
Hayley shrugs. “We left about ten minutes after you.”
“So we’ve been here for about eleven billion years, waiting for you to get your shit together,” Bodhi says when I climb off the boulder and join them.
“You’re not going to jump?” Everly asks in surprise.
I shake my head. “Nah. Not feeling it.”
Hayley sighs and smacks Bodhi’s arm. “This is why we were supposed to stay quiet.” She looks at me. “I didn’t want to sway your decision. We can climb back down now and meet you at the bottom.”
I shake my head. “I’ll come with you.” Her brows shoot up. “I made the decision not to jump before I even knew you were there.”
She looks skeptical. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything.” I’m not only talking about the jump. I’m talking about us. I pull her into my arms and kiss her like I’ve been gone for twenty years. “Marry me.”
She pulls back to look at my face. “What did you just say?”
It wasn’t supposed to come out like that, but I can’t back down now. “Marry me.” I shrug one shoulder. “It’s been the plan all along.”
