We met at Coachella last year. We were both doing a festival tour of Europe that summer. So he was in Barcelona, Madrid, Lisbon, Berlin, and Budapest, and so was I. Hooking up with no strings attached seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don’t even know why we were together. I guess we were both lonely and looking for a diversion. I was on the reboundafter Noah shattered my heart and waltzed out the door without a backward glance.
We had fun, though. Most of the time, anyway. We both knew it was never going to lead to anything serious.
Asher is a commitment-phobe with a self-destructive streak and a lot of baggage, which we never got around to unpacking.
After Budapest, we went our separate ways, and it was no big deal. I didn’t see him again until I ran into him in London a few weeks ago.
I look up from my phone when there’s a soft knock on the door, and then Noah steps into the room. The LED lights from the hallway illuminate his silhouette before he closes the door behind him. Shirtless in boxer briefs, his hair all messy and disheveled… God. Is he trying to torture me with his half-naked state? Obviously, he is.
Noah just loves to torture me, doesn’t he?
I pull the comforter up to my chin so he can’t see that I’m wearing the champagne silk camisole and shorts set he gave me one year for Valentine’s Day.
“Mind if I crash here?” Noah dives into bed without waiting for my response and now my king-size bed suddenly feels ten times smaller. We’re not even touching but I can feel him everywhere. After the kiss debacle I sent him packing so he’s been sleeping in one of the bunks ever since. “Dean snores.”
“At least he doesn’t head-butt you in the middle of the night,” I mutter.
Noah tucks his hands under his head and smiles up at me. He’s lying on top of my downy lilac comforter and the only light in the near darkness of my room is from my phone screen. But I can see his face as clear as day, so I don’t miss the little smirk he gives me. “As long as it’s you, I don’t mind the abuse.”
Noah and I haven’t spent much time together since that talk in Baltimore, but I’m not sure what there is to say, so I continue scrolling.
There’s too much to unpack. The kiss… what he said in Baltimore.
For the past couple of days, his words have echoed in my head. “It’s a last-ditch attempt to see if we have what it takes to make it.”
And if we can’t?
We’ll have to set each other free.
It’s too painful to even contemplate. I never want to imagine a life where Noah and I are completely free of each other. I can’t even begin to imagine what that would look like. So I’m trying my best to shut it out.
“Why are you awake?” Noah asks.
“Just catching up on messages.” I chew on my thumbnail while I read the text from Everly.
Everly: I’m so sorry, Hales. I swear it was just one kiss, and we both ended it almost immediately. We knew it was a mistake and felt guilty, but it was just a stupid kiss after too much to drink. Neither of us would ever do anything to hurt you.
They might not have meant to hurt me, but they did. Even though it wasjust a kiss, I’d put my trust in them.
About a month before Zeke died, Everly broke up with him. Her reasons were valid, but she still loved him and hoped that if they gave each other some time and space, they could resolve their differences and get back together.
Tragically, he died before that could happen, and I know she’s heartbroken. I know she’s still struggling to deal with his loss.
I cried with her. I held her hand, listened to her stories, and tried to be the best friend I could.
So yes, it hurts that she chose Noah out of all the guys she could have kissed.
It’s the equivalent of me kissing Zeke after they broke up. I would never have done something like that to Everly.
But the person I blame the most is Noah. I know we’re not together now, but he had to have known how much this would hurt me.
It’s all over the tabloids, and everyone is weighing in on social media.
Noah McCallister Moves on with Hayley’s Gal Pal, Everly St. Clair
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