Page 150 of I Dreamt That You Loved Me
I forced a smile. “No, I mean, it’s fine…I just…” I took a sip of my margarita and tried to shake it off. “I was just curious, that’s all,” I muttered when Gabriel joined us on the deck.
The following morning, when I heard Gabriel leaving for his run with Otis, I got dressed and cycled into town for breakfast.
The pancake place was jam-packed with families and tourists, so I ordered mine to-go and sat on a bench out front to eat.
I couldn’t pinpoint why I was so upset.
Even though Maya and Gabriel weren’t sleeping together, she knew him in a way that I didn’t.
She knewthisversion of Gabriel. The guy who had a stalker I knew nothing about. The guy who came out to Montauk, seeking solitude and bought her grandparents’ house. The guy who ran with his dog every day and swam laps and smoked like a chimney and kept condoms in his junk drawer.
They’d spent weeks working side by side planting that garden. She swam in his pool. She knew Eddie and Devin, who had made frequent trips to Montauk over the past couple of years to jam with Gabriel and helped him find his way back into music.
All facts I’d learned last night over margaritas and ska music.
And it wasn’t that I didn’t want him to have friends. On the contrary. I’d been worried that he might have been lonely living out here on his own.
So, it was agoodthing that he had someone he could trust.
If Maya were a guy, would I still feel threatened?
I don’t know. Maybe a little, but not as much.
As I was tossing my garbage into the trash can, my mom called. I answered and returned to my seat on the bench.
“How’s it going?” she asked.
Two steps forward and ten steps back.
“Great,” I said, forcing cheer into my voice. “Montauk is beautiful.” This, at least, was true.
“I was more interested in how you and Gabriel are doing.”
“We’re learning new things about each other every day,” I said, which was also true. No lies in this conversation. “So where are you now?”
“Bar Harbor. We’re going to Acadia National Park today.” She filled me in on their trip so far and gave me the entire menu of every dinner they’d eaten along the way. A lot of chowder and lobster, by the sounds of it. “We just finished breakfast and nowSean’s raring to go. The man can’t sit still for a minute. We’ll see you Saturday,” she said cheerily.
“You’re coming here?” I asked in surprise.
“Well, of course, we are. This is Gabriel’s first live performance. He’s going to be nervous so I’m glad you’ll be there for him.”
“I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s done this hundreds of times. He performed in front of a hundred thousand at Glastonbury.”
“Maybe so buthedoesn’t remember that. For him, this is his first gig. He tried to talk Sean out of booking it, but Sean thinks it will be good for him. He thinks it will help him hone the new music he’s written.”
“He’d better have new music written,” Sean bellowed in the background. “Get on his ass if he doesn’t. That asshole Barry will be sniffing around, and I don’t wanna have to deal with him.”
My mom laughed. “Sean can’t stand Barry. Okay, baby. My battery’s about to run out. Talk soon. Love you.”
She cut the call before I could say it back. My mom never remembered to charge her phone. It was a miracle she’d remembered to take it on the trip.
But I just loved how everyone was giving me instructions on how to take care of Gabriel.
Maybe Maya could give him the words of encouragement he needed, I thought bitterly.
Okay, now I was just being petty.
When it came to Gabriel, I was still a jealous lover.
