Page 3 of Haunted Mediation
“I meant, how about Ryan instead of Catrina. James Ryan Bigley.”
That…actually sounded really nice. He rolled the name around in his head until the backs of his eyes started to burn.
He’d always thanked his lucky stars that he’d experienced a relatively easy transition, at least in terms of some of the rougher side effects of T, like acne. Unfortunately, there was one side effect he wished hehadexperienced. A lot of trans men he’d read about online, and a few he’d met through Leon forcing him to go out and meet more queer folks, found it difficult to cry after starting T.
James had absolutely no problem crying. In fact, he actually criedmorethan before he’d transitioned.
“I, uh…yeah. Why don’t we try that for a little while?” James said, trying to clear his throat as discreetly as possible. Based on the extra squeeze his mom gave his shoulders, he assumed he wasn’t doing a good job of it. “How did you think of that? And when did you think of that?”
“Oh, I was watching one of my programs, and a young person was transitioning into a nonbinary, and they wanted to make their name sound less feminine. I always thought Ryan was a boy's name, but they seemed to think it was androgynous enough for them, and it got me thinking about your middle name.”
James tried not to choke on the way his mom said, “a nonbinary,” but it managed to chase the tears away at least. “Was the person’s name Catrina before they transitioned?”
His mom let go of him and shuffled over to the counter. “No, it was Abigail.”
James shook his head in bewilderment and set about closing up the attic door. His mind drifted back to Halloween plans—which he didn’t have, because he never did. He usually handed out candy with his mom, but last year he’d apparently worn out his welcome when he’d donned the same costume for a fifth year in a row.
“Some creativity is all I’m asking for, James!” his mom had cried, gesturing down at her own ghost costume, which had the words “Cancer is boo-sheet” written across the front.
James returned to his mother’s side and was immediately handed a string of orange lights to detangle. “Am I really banned from the premises on Halloween?”
“I’d really prefer if you weren’t here,” she said, but before James could take offense at the comment, she added, “because Howard from the support group is coming over.”
Howard was a man his mom had met in the cancer survivors’ support group at the local hospital. From everything his mom had said, he was a very nice man who’d been widowed several years back and was primarily looking for friends but wasn’t necessarily opposed to “something a little jazzier than that” if the mood was right.
Yeah, James probably didn’t want to be here if Howard was going to be here, either. He really would be cramping his mom’s style.
“How about you see what that coworker of yours is doing?” she asked, taking the lights out of his hands when it was clear he wasn’t moving fast enough.
One night, after he’d been out particularly late with Leon attending one of the Rainbow Bean’s monthly mixers, his mom asked what he’d been doing, and he told her the truth. “There’s this guy from work who’s taken pity on me and my lack of a social life and is trying to help me meet more people,” he’d said.
This had been only two months into their budding friendship, and James was still finding it hard to believe that his once sworn nemesis really did seem to care that James hadnowhere to be on a Friday night except watching old reruns with his mom.
Since then, they’d attended several mixers, as well as drag bingo at a bar across town and a game night at a queer friendly game shop. None of those outings had resulted in more than a few new Facebook friends, but he still chatted with them on occasion.
Amongst the many surprising things James had learned about Leon, one of the most surprising was that Leon also didn’t have any close friends. While he seemed to know a lot of people, he was quick to promise his Friday nights to James because he didn’t have many other social plans outside of work. He picked up shifts at his other job during the week and sometimes on Saturdays, but as of recently, he’d been working fewer of those, and he and James had been hanging out on a few Saturday nights as well.
“Arms, please,” his mom said.
James dutifully held out his arms so she could hang hooks on them that would hold her favorite bat decorations. “Leon’s probably busy.”
“Well, you should ask him anyway.”
After mentioning Leon one too many times in the past few months, his mom had begun poking and prodding to see if there was anything more to their relationship. James had only been able to admit to himself quite recently that there was, in fact, alotmore than just office camaraderie between them, but he wasn’t ready to tell his mom that.
“Unless…” his mom said, placing the final hook on his arm and starting to distribute the hanging bats. “Does he have a date? I bet there are lots of fun dates you could go on for Halloween.”
James sighed internally. Honestly, that would probably be for the best. If Leon got a nice, exciting boyfriend, maybeJames could stop pining over him and redownload some dating apps. Or perhaps he’d go to one of the speed dating nights at the Rainbow Bean. Leon had always steered clear of the café on those nights. James figured Leon didn’t want him there,cramping his style.
Oh god, was cramping his style going to be a new phrase he used all the time?
Maybe he should stop being the kind of person who cramped other people’s style.
“I don’t know, Mom, but you’re right. Maybe I should find my own date for Halloween.”
His mom beamed at him, and he wanted to kick himself. Why had he put that idea in her head?
“Oh, that would be wonderful!” she gushed. “Do you want me to let Howard put in a good word for you with his granddaughter?”
