Page 27 of Set the Moment
“I’m getting out of here. I hope you have a nice date with yourself, Aric.” I roll my eyes, snatching the mini gold purse I’d taken from Cleo’s closet before leaving.
My legs are moving faster than my brain, and soon enough, I find myself standing in front of a random closed storefront wearing a designer lavender Asteri cocktail dress, stranded.
“Fuck me…” I curse quietly, searching the empty roads for any sign of life.
Good going, Si Si. Your prissy ass couldn’t just sit there and take it? Look at you now, stuck in a city you’re not used to at night, carless and hungry.
My heart drops and my shoulders slump as the little angry bitch on my shoulder reminds me of my faults. I just wanted to branch out, put myself out there, and try the whole dating thing. But why is it so difficult? What happened to romance? Holding doors, walking your date to their doorstep? It’s almost like in order to date, I need to be willing to give up my body on the first date for things to work out…but why?
Maybe it’s for the best that this whole dating thing was a bust…maybe I’m not cut out for it.
My phone buzzes in my pocket as a cool gust of early September air breezes past. My skin pebbles with goosebumps as I open up my phone to find messages from my uncle, Clef.
Uncle CJ
Hey Sola girl, how’s everything with school? You settling in alright? Your cousin said you’re going on a date tonight. I can’t believe my girls are growing up.
Hit me back when your date’s over, Sola girl. I love you!
Heat prickles my skin as my heart warms. Uncle Clef has always been like a father figure to me, considering his older brother, my dad, was never truly around. He’s a busy guy, touring the world and DJing…it’s normal.
Without missing a beat, I respond to my uncle.
Me
Can you come get me? I’m in front of the creepy ceramic doll store by Mike’s Italiano.
In less than ten minutes, I find myself sitting in the passenger seat of my uncle's Escalade, wondering where I went wrong.
Is my taste in men that horrible, or are all the good guys taken? Is this what normal dating is like? As I sit, stewing in silence, watching the dark college town scenery pass by, my skin prickles with awareness.
“Say it…” I sigh, chewing on my bottom lip.
The sigh Uncle Clef lets out is deep. “What’s going on with my Sola girl?”
I grin at the use of my childhood nickname, Sola girl. It’s a play on my middle name, Sola. My parents spent a summer in Spain and met an independent artist named Sola Lopez. She gave them a place to stay after my father was mobbed while my mother was pregnant with me…long story. Anyways, my uncle started calling me ‘Sola girl’ because I couldn’t pronounce the L in my name and would say “Soa” instead.
“I don’t know, Uncle CJ…I just want to be different. I’m tired of trying to live up to these perfect standards that I’ve created for myself…It's like I know that no one expects perfection from me, butIdo. I want to be the best, I want everything to be correct and okay…and I just…I don't know.” I shrug, looking briefly at my uncle then back to the window as Uncle Clef pulls into the parking lot of my complex.
He hums, processing my words before nodding. “Sienna…I’ll tell you what I tell your cousins and the team,” he says, putting the car in park before facing me. “It is okay to seek perfection, but it is also okay to fail. It’s okay to start over and try new things, and it is more than okay to not have a plan. Your accomplishments do not dictate your worth or who you are on the inside, Sola girl.” Uncle Clef frowns, patting my shoulder before sighing.
“I know that you believe that by being the best at everything then you’ll feel validated, but it’s okay to just sit back and breathe. You’re twenty, you have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t waste time stressing about whether everything is perfect or not. The only thing that matters is if you’re being your authentic self, Sienna. You are a star, and I’m so sorry my brother doesn’t tell you this more often, but just know that I see you and I love you.”
As the weight of my uncle's words settle in my soul, I feel a mixture of things. Sad for one, that my mask of indifference has fallen and that he sees how much I crave my parents validation, but happy because I’m not alone.
I see you and I love you.
My uncle has always been one of my favorite authority figures. He took me in countless summers and traveled to be there for me whenever he could.
Just as I’m about to thank him, he stops me in my tracks and speaks.
“And stop going on dates with bums. There should be no reason that I’m picking you up on aSundayof all days because you had an asshole for a date.”
“Die, motherfucker…die!” I hiss at the monitor as I smash my finger against my mouse, aiming and killing my opponents. A flash bang flies across my screen, blinding me momentarily.
“Fucking bitch…” I mutter, reloading my gun before proceeding to take out the rest of my competition.
This is the calmest I’ve felt in weeks. Hell, maybe even months. Uncle Clef’s advice was amazing, but in order for me totrulybreathe, I need to annihilate something…or someone.
