Page 46 of Of Poison & Pumpkins
“I’m clean. Haven’t been with anyone in over a year, since I was last tested.”
She nods, rubs her wrists, then sits up to readjust her clothes. “What now?”
I drop my head. “Rynnlee ... What is this between us? Because I like you, really like you. I mean, too much. The type of like with a capital L, usually saved for cheesy romcom movies I binge while throwing popcorn at the screen and making fun of the couple for being head over heels into each other.”
“Speaking from romcom binging experience?”
The ball of yarn drops to the floor. Rynn leans to swipe it, but I beat her. When my hand brushes the floor, I freeze. Something sticky.
I have dipped my fingers in an unknown puddle of goo. My vision splotches. There’s a whirling sound like a fan whooshing in my ears. The entire room fades in and out.
“Woah, Elias, what’s wrong?”
Can’t speak. I see her hand on my leg, but don’t feel it. When I meet her gaze, terror streaks across her eyes like I’m about to be swallowed by a crocodile.
Her lips move, forming shapes I can’t understand. Then all sound disappears other than a low, constant buzzing.
Sticky. So sticky. Why is it sticky? I’m paralyzed. Palms turn clammy. Body overheats. Going to pass out. Need water. I stare at one spot on the ceiling to make the room stop spinning.
Then her lips are on mine. My world topples upside down until all sensations crash into me. Immediately, my world rights itself. I can breathe again. Rynn lashes her mouth harder and deeper onto mine. Urgent and fast. Claiming me. She’s a euphoric toxin I’m addicted to. She tastes of caramel cocoa and forests.
That’s when I realize a soft piece of cloth wiped against my hand, cleaning the goop off. She remembered. My whole body loosens. I’ve never understood the saying of getting ‘lost’ in someone because being near Rynn is when I feel ‘found.’
“Lias,” she says my name like a prayer, and it undoes me.
What am I supposed to do with this version of her? One that I had never dreamed of experiencing. I’ll never be able to erase this kiss or outdo it. She’s the one. And it took me years of wasted time to accept it.
As if reading my mind, she kisses me again, her hands in my hair. I let out some carnal, animalistic sound that can’t be described with human vocabulary. I want to touch her everywhere. Her breasts. Her stomach. Her ass. Between her legs. Inside her. Goddess, I want to be inside her.
“Promise me something.” She pulls away and I’m already deprived of her lips. “Always wear suspenders.”
“Only if you agree to be…” I kiss to her chin, then kiss her lips softly. “…my girlfriend. Mine only. Be mine, Sunflower. Please.”
She sits back, examining my face. Eyes wide. Nostrils flared. Cheeks flushed. “You’re serious?”
“Serious as winter in Boston.”
That gets a laugh out of her. “When have you been to Boston?”
“Don’t avoid the question. Will you be mine?”
Her throat bobs. Not a good sign. Her eyes dip to the mattress. No, no, no, I’m losing her. Quickly, I lift her chin so she’s focused back on me.
“Elias … we … you … I want …”
“What is it? What do you want?” I scoot closer. “Is there someone else?”
She takes both my hands in hers. “No, nothing like that. I’m not interested in anyone else.”
“Then why can’t we try?” There’s a loose strand of hair in front of her nose that I sweep behind her ear. “How about this, we start over, like it’s a blind date.”
Smiling, she shakes her head. “That’ll never work.”
Worried I may be pushing her limit, I ask anyways, “How can I help you trust me?”
“I do trust you,” Rynn says defensively, gesturing to the yarn. “I let you tie me up. Gave you full control.”
“I mean trust me with your heart.”
