Page 89 of Chasing The Goal
“I can’t do this without a doctor.”
“You’re not doing it without me,” he said, steady as a rock. “You’re not alone.”
He helped me into the tub, turning the water on warm, testing it with the same care he used when he made tea. I sank into the water, trembling, trying to center myself.
Shortly after hitting the water, the contractions came harder, relentless. My breaths shortened, my body curling into itself with each wave.
I reached for my phone with shaking hands and texted
Ava
I think that green smoothie did the trick.
Her reply came instantly
Castor oil works fast!! (according to the blogs) You’ve got this. I’m with you in spirit!!! I promise.
The next contraction hit like a freight train, tearing through me with a force that stole the air from my lungs. I gasped, clutching the side of the tub so hard my knuckles went white, tears springing to my eyes, hot and helpless.
“Jaymie—” My voice broke on his name. It came out high and panicked. “I think the baby’s coming. Right now.”
Hisface went pale, lips parting in disbelief for half a second—but then he was moving. No hesitation, no questions. Just action as he always fell naturally into. He dropped to his knees beside the tub, one hand finding my arm, grounding me, the other fumbling for towels, the bath mat, anything soft and dry and remotely useful.
“I’m here,” he said, voice tight but steady. “Just look at me. You’re okay, Mal. I’ve got you.”
I was sobbing now—sharp, shaky breaths and tears that blurred my vision. The water around me sloshed with every shift of my body, echoing my panic. I felt split open, body and mind, no longer tethered to anything familiar.
"I'm going to call 911 so they can help up, I only know so much on this part, baby but I got you, I'm right here." He held my hand in his while he used his right to dial.
“I’m not ready,” I whispered. The words cracked in half as they left me. “I can’t—”
Jaymie leaned in, his forehead brushing mine, his voice low and fierce. “You are. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. You can do this. Youaredoing this. And you’re not alone—I’ve got you, Mal. Every second.”
A wave of pressure surged deep inside me, undeniable and consuming. The urge to push wasn’t a thought—it was instinct, command, something ancient and unstoppable. My body had already made the decision. I could barely comprehend him talking to the dispatcher, and givingme instructions back. I just knew I needed this baby out.
“I can’t stop it,” I cried, gripping the edge of the tub like it might hold me together.
“You don’t have to.” Jaymie’s hands were already in place, his eyes locked on mine and then back down, his breathing shallow. “Just breathe, okay? The woman said when you feel it—push. I’m right here.”
The next contraction slammed through me and I bore down, the sound that tore from my throat somewhere between a scream and a growl. I didn’t recognize my own voice. I didn’t care. All I knew was that I had to get this baby out.
Jaymie coached me through it, voice calm despite the tremble in his hands. “You’re doing amazing. Just like that. Breathe through it—you’re so close.”
Everything else disappeared—the bathroom, the walls, the flickering light, the world. There was only the water lapping against me, the burning stretch of pain, the tension coiled in every inch of me, and Jaymie’s voice—soft, steady, relentless.
Time folded in on itself, stretching and collapsing. I pushed again, a raw sound ripping from me. Another. Again. My body shaking with the effort.
And then—something shifted.
There was pressure, then relief. A sudden absence of weight.
A heartbeat later, a cry broke the air.
Sharp and loud andalive.
Jaymie’s hands caught her, his whole body folding around her like he was afraid she might disappear.
His voice cracked like glass. “It’s a girl.” He was crying now, the words catching in his throat as he looked up at me, awestruck. “Mal, she’s perfect. She’sperfect.”
