Page 91 of Chasing The Goal
“I want to. I want to say all the right things and promise everything and…God, I’m such a mess. I’m not her dad, I know that, and I don't know what we are, I don't do well with ambiguity.”
“I want you in both of our lives,” she says. “You showed up. You’ve been showing up.”
I nod, swallowing hard. “I’ll never try to take something that’s not mine. But if you’ll let me… I’d like to be something, to her and to you.”
Mallory lifts her hand, resting it over my heart. “You already are. You’re everything.”
Tears prick my eyes again. "When did I turn into such a crier!?"
“You keep saying that,” she murmurs, amused. “But I’m pretty sure you've always been a softy for your family.”
Mal's phone buzzes on the bedside table, lit up with an incoming FaceTime from Dakota.
“Want to let her in on the chaos?” Mallory asks.
“Oh, absolutely.”
She answers, and Dakota’s face fills the screen. She’s in a hallway, hair up, wearing a hoodie with UVM plastered across the front, her expression instantly collapsing into tears.
“Mallory. Oh my god. Oh my god, that’s her? Is she okay? Are you okay?”
“We’re good,” Mallory says, her voice shaking. “We did it.”
Dakota gasps. “Did it? I think you did more than that!? You gave birth in a bathtub, Mal. Without a doctor. Or drugs. Or me.”
Jaymie leans in to make sure she sees him. “Hey. You would’ve passed out, for the record.”
“I would not have—” she starts, then sighs. “Okay, maybe. But I would’ve rallied! That’s what med school is for.”
“She’s beautiful,” Dakota whispers, leaning close to the screen. “She looks like you. And a little like Jaymie, which is weird, right?”
“I imprint on babies,” I joke. “It’s a gift.”
Dakota sniffles. “I can’t believe I missed it. I should’ve been there.”
“You’re here now,” Mallory says softly. “And you’re gonna be the best auntie ever.”
“I already bought a lab coat for when she wants to play doctor.”
“She’s like twelve hours old,” I say.
“Never too early to prep her for med school,” Dakota says fiercely.
Mallory laughs, a sound that makes the whole room brighter. “We love you.”
“I love you more,” Dakota says. “Jaymie?”
“Yeah?”
She sobers. “Thank you. For being there. For not leaving her alone.”
I feel something in me unclench. “There’s nowhere else I’d ever be.”
Dakota nods, teary again. “Okay, I have to go fail a BioChem quiz, but I’ll call back later!! Send pics. Constantly. Love you.”
“Love you too,” Mallory and I echo together.
Sheends the call and sets the phone down. Lola stirs slightly, face scrunching. I rub her back gently, whispering nonsense.
