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I remember that day clearly, fresh out of school and about to embark on my life-changing journey of attending fashion school in Milan. It was nine in the morning, the day of my flight. Mom and Dad had left me home alone to finish packing while they went grocery shopping with Tory. Though the day was filled with excitement, that I’d finally be escaping my hideous roots and creating a new start for myself, I was rushing around the house in a mad panic, scatter-brained as I tried to account for all my belongings. It was as I jogged down the staircase that I noticed something out of place—the shadow of two feet beneath the front door. Yet no one was knocking to announce themselves.

I waited for the visitor to do something, and even started to become creeped out by their presence, until curiosity got the best of me, and I opened the door myself, losing all color when I stood face-to-face with Adrian. He seemed just as shocked to see me, which was strange since he was the one visiting my house. Neither of us said a word. All I could do was glare at the guy who was once my safe place, but as a member of the high school yearbook committee, had the nerve to printVerena the Vaginabeneath my photo. That was his last hurrah. His way of declaring victory in the war between us.

“Verena… I didn’t realize you’d be home. Mom said you were out shopping.”

“My family is. What do you want?”

“I was going to leave this on your doorstep but… ah… this is for you.”

Adrian held out a plush toy. It took me a moment to recognize the toy as the teddy bear I used to carry everywhere as a child. It was so loved that the stitching in one of its arms was coming undone and patches had been sewn where its fur ran thin. The bear had been a gift from Adrian for my seventh birthday. He’d given it to me because I suffered from nightmares and told me if I hug the bear while I sleep, it will keep all the bad dreams away.

The sight of Adrian holding my favorite childhood toy tore at my heart. Let’s be honest, it was my favorite toybecauseAdrian gave it to me. I hadn’t thought about the bear in years. Hadn’t even realized I’d left it at Adrian’s house.

I took the bear from Adrian’s hands, wondering if this was some kind of parting truce between us. An ode to the friendship we once shared. Maybe even aFarewell, some part of me will miss you. Because, seriously, it wouldn’t have been beneath the guy to throw the bear in the trash.

“Thanks,” I said, unsure whether the smile I felt pulling at my lips was appropriate. “That was nice of you to think of me.”

Adrian cleared his throat, digging his hands into his pockets as his eyes looked everywhere except at me. “I didn’t… think of you. It was Mom’s idea. She sent me here to give you the bear. She knew how much you loved that thing.”

“Oh…” A lump formed in my throat and my gaze dropped to the ground. NowIwas the one who couldn’t stomach looking at him. I’d been mistaken to think the yearbook was Adrian’s last strike. This was it right here—him, giving me hope that some small part of him still cared about me.

“Well… good luck in Milan.”

He didn’t get far down the driveway before I closed the door between us. Tears of frustration trickled down my cheeks. I vowed to myself that was the last time I would let Adrian hurt me, but I’d been wrong. There was still another punch to the heart waiting for me when I called Cece to thank her for the bear.

“I really appreciate that you gave the bear back to me,” I said over the phone to Cece later that morning.

“Bear? Sweetie, I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“The bear Adrian gave me for my seventh birthday. He was here this morning and said you sent him to give me the bear.”

“Oh, that bear. Honey, I didn’t send Adrian over. He must have found the bear himself. You know, Verena, it’s such a shame what happened between you and Adrian. Is there no way the two of you can reconcile your differences?”

My eyes squeezed shut at the revelation of her words, brimming with tears again. “Thanks, Cece. I need to pack. Bye,” I blurted, blunt and rude but desperate to end the call before my voice broke.

After all the pain Adrian had put me through, he did something nice for once but without the strength to be honest about his intentions. What made everything all the more painful was that he’d been hoping no one was home. He didn’t want to say goodbye to me. Nothing about his behavior made sense. Adrian had mastered the art of being sweet and a jerk at the same time.

And now, seven years later, nothing has changed.

A knock on the front door of Darius’ bungalow pulls me from the memory and I spring up to my feet at the sound of Adrian’s voice. “Verena? I need to speak with you. Are you in there?”

“Ahh, it’s him.” I pull Zac into the bathroom with me and flutter my hands in panic.

Darius jumps back with a fright, slipping to the ground of the shower with a loudthud. “What the fuck, guys? I’m naked.”

I grab a towel and throw it at him. “Like I care. Adrian is here. Should I answer the door? What do I say to him?”

Zac covers his eyes and faces the wall. “I am officially blind. Verena, is it really necessary for me to be in this bathroom too?”

Darius steps out of the shower with the towel wrapped low around his hips. So low that the heavily defined V shape of his lower abs is on display. “Stay here. I’m answering the door.”

“Like that?” I nod at him in his towel. “I can basically see your junk.”

“That’s the point.”

“My eyes are burning,” Zac adds.

“Let me fix your hair first.” I reach for a brush, but Darius shakes his head.